nice lady to POS

last week right before this interview for a human interest story for work, a teenage girl asked to borrow a cell phone. i let her use mine. to keep this story short i'll cut to the chase. it turns out she was kidnapped and taken to an apt a couple doors down from where we were doing our interview. i helped her call 911. later after the police came i filled out a police report. i had to tell them everything she told me.

although it was quite sad for her, for some reason now i keep thinking about how this whole thing was so timely and why i got involved. i was the one who arranged the interview, picked 4:30 instead of 4:15 pm. in fact, i know if we were any earlier or later we would've missed her. another thought i have is my choice to engage with this girl. i knew when she asked to use a cell phone that something was very wrong. i also knew when i later asked her if we needed to call the police that i was going to get more involved here. i even asked her if the men hurt her-- they did.

i don't consider myself a good samaritan by doing what i did because i'm sure most of you out there given the same situation would've done what i did. you would've helped her. right before she got in the police car i told her she was brave and that she was going to be okay. she referred to me as the 'nice lady'.

right after leaving the interview and dealing with the police and the kidnapped girl, i stopped by wal-mart on my way to another work related thing.

i typically never shop at wal-mart, but I went for a work related reason and i had to buy something. while looking for something and simultaneously hyper-ventilating, a woman called me a "piece of sh*t." gee, thanks.... merry christmas to you, too! a loathe wal-mart!

so, in less than an hour i go from 'nice lady' to 'piece of sh*t'!

'It'

It.

What is 'it'?

'It' could mean so many things...

For instance, with OJ Simpson 'it' meant murder. "He did it!" I mean, "What if I did it?"

Then I keep thinking about that one Seinfeld episode where Elaine says, after her date, "He took it out." In that case 'it' means... um, well... male genitalia. There. I said it.

Of course, in high school / college 'it' meant sex, apparently, at least I think it did...

My favorite form of the word -- in 4th grade, this super smart kid (actually went to Harvard), Chung Lee, would inevitably say 'it' after our entire class said, "shhhhhh!" Ya know, now that I think about it, Chung was pretty funny. Shhhhh... 'it'. Very funny. I'm going to try that at my next work meeting or something.

Well, that's it.

10 things you never knew about me...

On this blog I tell many silly stories from my past, e.g. my sister black mailing me, running away with my hobo stick, the glove man, etc. I also share what's going on in my life from the wacky things like my deodorant quandary or my nun internship to the more serious like my recent health woes. Needless to say, I have many more stories to share and divulge to my faithful readers; moreover, there is so much that I haven't shared. So, with that said, here's 10 things you never knew about me... keep in mind I know some of you already know about some of this stuff.

10 things you never knew about me...

1. My only 'hollywood crush' was Fred Savage from The Wonder Years. I wrote him a letter when I was in 5th grade, and so did my best friend Emily Yeh. He wrote back some canned photo & signature. [In fact, that picture to the right is the exact one 'he' sent me!]
2. I always wanted to play the drums, but my mom wouldn't let me and I played the piano for two years until I broke my arm in 6th grade.
3. My favorite animal is the African Elephant - sad they have been killed for their ivory tusks. Sick, greedy bastards!
4. I've never smoked weed nor have I bonged a beer. HOWEVER, I've watched and babysat my friends who did. Sober can be funny!
5. I have a knickknack phobia. It started in college my first semester in the dorms my roommate had like over 100 little dalmatian knicknacks all on her side of the room. Apparently, if you own a dalmatian you're supposed to collect knicknacks. She even had her senior pics taken with her dog. Creepy.
6. I was a Safety Patrol Captain in 5th grade; yes the dorky orange belts and helping kids cross the street. I carried a whistle and bossed my classmates around. I thought I was da shiznat!
7. I can't sleep if my bedroom door is open and I must have white noise!
8. I am a registered Independent - in high school I claimed to be a Democrat, then I became a Christian in college, in the bible belt, and thought that I had to be Republican if I was a Christian. Boy, I didn't know anything then.
9. Every year growing up at my church, First Presbyterian Church in Norman, OK, had a Christmas Pageant, and I was always an angel up in the balcony, and I sang in my church choir -- I actually liked it. We also did numerous musicals.
10. I only write in print; in fact, I can't write in cursive anymore -- too sloppy. But I do have a cool signature, I've been told. That was perfected over the years... ya know just in case I got famous!

My new specs, TIM, etc.

My friend Alison and I scored some new specs last week...

TIM

This week while working out at 24Hour I was people watching in the mirrors, as I normally do, and saw this gal with a shirt that said 'TIM' on it. First thought, TIM? Who is TIM? Maybe he's her crush or something and she's doing advertisement to catch him. I thought, "That's a fabulous idea! I should totally make a shirt that has my crush's name on it! I'm running out of ideas here, and maybe that'll work?" Then after thinking that and designing my 'Crush Shirt' in my head, she turned around towards me and her shirt said 'MIT'. Right. MIT. NOT TIM. She went to some brainy school, which I obviously couldn't get into since I thought the shirt said 'TIM' on it. Stupid mirrors!

Tomorrow is my much anticipated surgery to remove the 'mass' on my right femur / hip bone. I'll be out for awhile, but I hope to update my blog during my recovery.

Peace.

Deal Breakers

Not long ago, my friend Brad was telling me about deal breakers. He and his friend wanted to create a game called Deal Breakers.

He was referring to dating relationships or pre-dating relationships where we either let those little things slide or we make that little annoying habit or idiosyncrasy a deal breaker and put the kibosh on the relationship. I think Seinfeld had a lot of deal breakers on their show.

Examples of Deal Breakers:

1. You live downtown. He doesn't know (or want to learn) how to parallel park. [True, I ended a 'relationship' because he couldn't parallel park.]
2. He never tips, or only gives a 5% tip.
3. She has an annoying laugh.
4. He has a small toy poodle that he pets all of the time, takes the little dog everywhere, etc.
5. Her apartment smells like a cross between glue and vomit.
6. He wears tapered jeans.
7. She doesn't shave her pits.
8. He never has toilet paper in his apartment.
9. She constantly gossips about people you know about.
10. He only eats fast food and refuses to learn how to cook for himself.
11. He or she has facial hair.
12. She has a blog.

What are your deal breakers?

entropy.

It's been awhile since I've written on my blog. Mostly because my mind has been in 10,000 places. But with that said, I'm reminded about entropy. I'm not into science at all, but I like the idea of entropy which describes probably everything that is going on in my life.

What is entropy?

• Well, essentially the idea of entropy is disorder in a system. And, this has to deal with thermodynamic laws, but for us normal people out there I'm going to simplify this for us.
• We are constantly maintaining these systems, e.g. mowing lawns, cleaning, showering, etc. For instance, if I neglect doing my dishes or picking-up my crap that I've left all over my apartment then what would happen? Unfortunately things don't magically return to their proper spot (strangely growing up my stuff always got to the right spot - thanks to my A.R. mom); instead, my apartment would look like a cross between a junkyard or 50-yearold bachelor's pad. So, I'm constantly maintaining my apartment -- dishes, sweeping, laundry, straightening up, dusting, wiping counters, etc.

From the basic maintenance of an 650 sqft apartment to laws of thermodynamics, I feel like this 'notion' of entropy stems from the 'fall' and because of that we, too, experience entropy. For me, physically, I'm going through some health problems the past few weeks. The kidney stones (Urethra Franklin and Stone Phillips) are still in my kidneys and I should have them 'blasted out' in the next few weeks. AND, the radiologist not only found my stones but he/she also found some kind 'abnormality' on my right femur (femoral neck) - could be a cyst or some other kind of 'deformity'. Although, I would love to say that I'm fine, I'm not freaked out at all. But to be honest as my body experiences this 'entropy' I'm a bit uneasy about it. I tend to think of worst case scenario - which is every scary thing you can think of -- losing a limb. Then I'm like oh, it's probably nothing... but what if? So you see I'm trying to have a good perspective, but this waiting is killin' me.

I need patience. I need peace. I need healing. I need to surrender and allow God to walk with me through this odd time. I'm sure trusting God is huge part of it. I've even given myself pat answers, but to be honest I don't want to hear them. So, I told myself to shut-up the other day...

I should hear back from my orthopedic surgeon sometime this coming Monday or Tuesday. He has to review my MRI.

Though I'd love to continue to process this on my blog - but my main purpose in writing this is a request for prayer. I believe in prayer, and if you are the praying type I ask for your coveted prayers.

An announcement: I'm having 'twins'!!!

Well, several of you out there already know about this, but during my birthday dinner last night my doctor called me to tell me that I'm having TWINS!!!

Needless to say, I'm beyond surprised by this, for several reasons...

Yup, I will be giving 'birth' to two kidney stones in the ensuing weeks. Although I'd love to be excited about this, I'm just having a hard time, but I guess it beats having a tumor or something.

Oh, btw, the stones' names are going to be Urethra Franklin and Stone Phillips!

Their debut is forthcoming... I'll keep you all posted! There might be 'stone' shower next week, too.

Gee, 29 isn't so exciting as my body continues to fall apart as I continue age. Totally bites.

WHOA NELLY, I'M 29!!!

Hard to believe, folks, but I just turned 29 today. Very creepy.

Here are a few birthday highlights...

• Today was the most gorgeous day outside! Perfect weather!
• I took the day off from work!
• I rode my bike to REI. While reading my book outside the REI Starbucks, a pigeon made some noise then I looked up and saw grunty poo coming down towards me. With my cat-like reflexes I was able to dodge the droppings. Whew!
• Apparently Victoria Secret remembered my birthday better than most people; they sent me a little $10 gift card. That'll help me put a down payment on a G-string I've had my eye on.
• Had dinner with some fun friends at Mercury Cafe. Tasty. Although, the tea that tasted like an ashtray wasn't a hit for some reason, but the rest of the food was good. Thank you guys for coming! Loved the cards and gifts--even though I said NO gifts! :) Muchas gracias!
• I told a story of the time I puked in kindergarten; Alison couldn't stop laughing, which made me laugh super hard! Not sure if it was funny, but I enjoy laughing hard while trying to tell a vomit story.
• My fam hooked me up: Dad = cha ching, Mom = car insurance for the next 6 mo, sister = fun earrings. Thanks you guys! Wish you could've joined us for dinner.
• Plethora of voicemail messages, phone calls and emails from friends and family wishing me a happy birthday, thank you!
• Lastly, my doc called me during dinner, and told me that I'm having 'twins'! (More on that later.)

A couple of goals for my 29th year:

1. To not get married by age 30.
2. Laugh more.
3. Take off more, actually use my vacation days.
4. Love God and people.
5. Rest.
6. Give.

PS - my friend Hunter wanted me to increase the font size. I hope this helps!

Did you say cuddle parties!?!

Back sometime last year my old roommate, Erin, was telling me about cuddle parties. I was completely baffled by them, but yet curious. So, I googled cuddle parties, and here's what I found. Apparently, this isn't an adult version of Spin The Bottle or Seven Minutes In Heaven. In fact, Cuddle Parties have apparently been sweeping the nation! OK, so now that you're intrigued, please read more about this below, I basically grabbed all the info from the website.
Here's the skinny on cuddle parties...

• "It is an event for adults to get together and explore affectionate touch and communication without it becoming sexualized. At these events, we create the safe space to talk about and explore what our needs are as adults when it comes to affection, intimacy and welcomed touch. In other words, CUDDLING!"
• A structured, safe workshop on boundaries, communication, intimacy and affection. A drug and alcohol-free way to meet fascinating people in a relaxing environment. A laboratory where you can experiment with what makes you feel safe and feel good.
• This playful, fun workshop has been a place for people to rediscover non-sexual touch and affection, a space to reframe assumptions about men and women, and a great networking event to meet new friends, roommates, business partners and significant others.
• Can Cuddle Party restore your faith in humanity? It just might. But at the very least, you'll have a great time, and leave feeling relaxed and inspired.
• There's even a Cuddle LIFEGUARD on duty!
• These parties are hosted by people who invite people to get together to cuddle; some of these people coming together are perfect strangers.
• Oh, and there are rules!
  

The RULES!!!! (yup, there are actual rules to this)

WHAT TO WEAR: Pajamas - nothing too risque. Think more comfy than sexy. (More drawstrings, less lace! No shorts.)

WHAT TO BRING: A pillow or stuffed animal if you like. Juice or sparkling cider is always welcome. Sorry, no liquor folks. Otherwise, just bring your smiling self.

STICK TO THE RULES:

1. Pajamas stay on the whole time.
2. You don't have to cuddle anyone at a Cuddle Party, ever.
3. You must ask permission and receive a verbal YES before you touch anyone. (Be as specific in your request as you can.)
4. If you're a yes, say YES. If you're a no, say NO.
5. If you're a maybe, say NO.
6. You are encouraged to change your mind anytime you want.
7. Respect your relationship agreements and communicate with your partner.
8. Get your Cuddle Lifeguard On Duty or Cuddle Caddy if you have a question or concern or need assistance with anything during the Cuddle Party.
9. Tears and laughter are both welcome.
10. Respect people's privacy when sharing about Cuddle Parties and do not gossip.
11. Arrive on time.
12. Be hygienically savvy.

Thoughts???
I know after reading some of this you guys are thinking what the butt!?! And you have lots of questions. There's an FAQ section that I suggest checking out for more information.

But, one thing that I keep thinking about is this need for intimacy. We crave or desire intimacy so much that we have people out there who create parties so that one can obtain such desired intimacy. Furthermore, I keep thinking about one of Mark Miller's old sermon's re: we were created to have a legitimate need for intimacy with Our Creator, but we, at times, seek intimacy through illegitimate ways. Perhaps cuddle parties are the epitome of this illegitimate need for intimacy?

I find this whole thing VERY intriguing. I mean, going to a party wearing my pajamas and laying around hugging random people??? That's just creepy, in some ways, and I would submit that I'm someone who's pretty affectionate and doesn't mind receiving hugs or giving hugs, but spooning with people I don't know or going to a social event so that I can spoon seems creepy. But is it? I don't know. I once heard that humans need at least 7 touches a day or something like that. And, certainly, this party would give you a full week's worth of touches. It's definitely something, um, different.

What are your thoughts about this?

Has anyone gone to a cuddle party?

Would anyone out there actually go to cuddle party?

Running away

I can't recall how many times I thought about running away as a kid. The one time I can actually remembering running away I was either 5 or 6. I remember being really upset with my mom. Like crying then threatening I would run away; then I went into to my bedroom and packed my stuff. I actually got a stick and tied bandanna on it, I put a few things in it. Then I walked out the front door, of course sniffing and making a scene... my last words being "Bye. I'm NEVER coming back!" [Then I think I heard I Will Survive playing as background music.] The hobo like run away stick sat over my little shoulders as I turned around hoping my mom would come after me.

A few seconds later, my mom followed me trying to convince me to come back, of course I'm pretty sure she was trying not to laugh because I had the hobo stick on my shoulder. She said something about the 'Boogie Man' would be out there lurking around the corners, THAT was someone who definitely scared me a bit. But I remember that I was VERY determined to run away with my hobo stick. I'm not sure why I thought to make one of those hobo / run away stick-bandanna things, but I did. Perhaps I watched Tom and Jerry too much? Regardless, me and my hobo stick made it a couple houses up the street. I'm not sure if I knew where I was going to go, but I think as soon as my mom turned around and walked back inside the house after she unsuccessfully tried to convince me to come back, was surprisingly the exact moment that I decided to saunter back home. I had made a scene, a VERY dramatic one.

I think I still contemplate running away. Strange to think someone in her late 20s really has thought about just leaving and running away from it all. The thought has crossed my mind a few times especially when I drive east on I-70 to DIA (Denver Int'l Airport) I think about driving back home to Oklahoma instead of picking up my friend or catching my flight\; and, running away from responsibility here in Denver. Starting over. Hmm, more like returning back to my vomit, albeit.

I think we run away, perhaps not physically per se, but rather from things in life when it gets too hard. We close off from people; stop showing up to things like church or meetings, or perhaps even not returning phone calls or emails. Avoiding is a form of running. I know, I invented it. The times I've run or thought about running like being mad at my mom when I was kid, or work or life in Denver gets too rough and I just want to bail and go back home. Running. I"m really just running away from what's difficult and challenging.

You know those people who have that glamorous adventurous life (hopping from one country to the next or city to city stateside) perhaps they are really just running away? From what? Being an adult? Settling down? Fear of failure in life? Fear of being sucked into the 'American Dream' and sitting behind a desk all day long? However, I still admire them, and would love to join them, again.

Me and my hobo stick are far from running these days. I will face life's challenges. I think Visa once said something about going where life takes you or something along those lines.

I'm going, not running (away).

Two-faced kitten born, Hello Kitty fears competition

Recently, a kitten was born in Oregon with two faces. Gemini, the two-faced kitty, has two mouths, two noses, two sets of eyes and two ears and two-quasi tongues.

"If she eats, nurses and what not then she'll be fine," says Patsy McGrew, a local vet. "But the fact of the matter is she doesn't know which mouth to nurse with and the whole quasi-two tongue thing... it's just very confusing for her."

After only hours being born, Gemini received several requests from over 30 agents before committing to one. "I'm thrilled to give lil' Gemini some direction. I hope she'll blossom into a real star, possibly her own line of cute little asian products," tells Mackie Goldwing, Gemini's agent.

Sources say Goldwing allured Gemini with catnip.

With all of the hype and media attention, Hello Kitty fears competition. In fact, today there was a poll taken and it reported that Gemini has more 'face value' than Hello Kitty.

Spokeswoman for Hello Kitty, Cathy Levine, adds, "Hello Kitty will continue to market her products to young girls across the world. We've been through this before with Garfield back in the mid-eighties, and Gemini will be just another cat fad, just like the rest."

"Psssshht, whateva. Ya know they [Hello Kitty Reps] are you scared of the competition. Perhaps this will mean 'Goodbye Kitty' for a certain someone," says Goldwing.

Hello Kitty wasn't able to comment due to the fact that she has no mouth, sadly; she just waved to her fans who were chewing her gum, which only lasts 2 seconds.

FOUND!

Back in February I went to the Grizzly Rose for Beth's birthday party. Now Grizzly is a country bar with two-steppin' and rocky mountain oysters. We all had a ball! I'm not a fan of country anything... but nevertheless I enjoyed the night with friends.

As my friend, Carole, and I walked out the Grizzly I found this picture on the ground and kept it. I LOVE it!

the front...

the back...

the faded part reads: Ur lil sister Nancy A

Which one (in the picture) do you think is Nancy?
	Left
	Right
	Neither
	I don't give a rip...
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Age-defying protein shake enhances young woman's leg pressing ability

DENVER, Colo. (June 2, 2006) -- On June 1, 2006, at the 23 Hour Fitness, Stephanie, age 28, became the second human being on earth to leg press 2000 pounds! For the past 3 days she has been taking an 'age-defying protein shake' that is believed to have given her the power to lift so much weight.

"Whew! After drinking those age-defying protein shakes, I noticed that I was so much stronger," exclaimed Stephanie. "Ya know, I never thought I could lift as much as I did last night!"

Stephanie got the idea from Pat Robertson, who just announced last week that he had leg pressed 2000 pounds because of his age-defying protein shake. http://www.cbn.com/communitypublic/shake.asp

After downloading the recipe for age-defying protein shakes, Stephanie spent 3 days in a row ingesting the squalid protein shake.

"At first it made me gag, but eventually I was able to force it down. It's hard to drink something that tastes so similar to bung-hole," boasts Stephanie. "But, I got the courage from Pat.. if he can do it, then I certainly can!"

This is the first time in years that Stephanie has leg pressed; April 8, 1998, was the last reported leg press that Stephanie did prior to June 1, 2006. She told reporters and trainers that she is undeniably retiring from leg pressing just like break dancing; nevertheless, there is talk that she will write a book about her leg pressing experience (expected to hit the bookstores late July 2006).

"I feel like a super human or something now! Dreams do come true!"

###

I'm so over 'buzzness' words....

for many you folks out there you work for small businesses, large corporations or nonprofits (like me). There's a culture in the work place where the words you say can make or break you. It seems after a conference, training or meeting people come away with, what I like to call, 'buzzness' words. Buzz words used to impress business-type folks.

Below are a few examples... mind you I work for a nonprofit so I know some words, but i'm sure many you out there know way more than I do. If you just pay attention in a meeting you'll hear your colleagues, especially those that like to hear themselves talk, share those lovely 'buzzness' words. Or, perhaps you can actually read work related emails for once and pick-up on that work lingo/jargon/buzz words! Better yet, just watch The Apprentice they are all about those words.

'Buzzness' words

1. synergy (or synergize) - so dumb! what does it really mean? "we need to create some synergy around this [whatever]... " so over that word!
2. seamless (e.g. "we want to make this a 'seamless' transition... ") what? are we a tailor or seamstress now? okay then, i'm going to knit this project, so no worries.
3. organic - maybe this is a Colorado thing?
4. expedite - yup, totally over it!
5. disseminate - so yeah, again, done with this one! e.g. we need to disseminate this information...
6. critical - really? how critical is it?
7. strategic - i'm sooo guilty of using this one!
8. leverage - again, guilty!
9. implement - oh geez, super guilty here!
10. integrated - well, crap! i LOVE that one, but i'll have to let this word go, just like the rest of them!


I could go on and on, but I won't; please feel free to list your 'buzzness' words on the comment section. It's okay to admit that you use these words, too. Like me, I know firsthand how using 'buzzness' words make you actually sound like you know what the heck you're talking about it. Seriously, I do.
I challenge you guys to go through a meeting, presentation, etc and not use a 'buzzness' word.

cringing, ralphing and confessions of chunk

remember the scene in goonies when chunk confesses everything he ever did? he basically spills his guts. most memorable is when he confessed that he made a fake ralphing noise then dropped fake puke over the balcony at the movie theatre... for some reason i think of that scene as i think of myself things i've said and the way i acted and responded to life, people, etc it makes me cringe. and at times i want to chuck all over the place. lovely thought, isn't it?

i cringe at the mere thought of not loving people the way i've been called to.... that's probably the reason why i cringe at so many things...

i cringe at the stupid things i've said on dates... or to guys i've crushed on... or the reasons why i stopped liking someone...

i cringe at the way i've treated my family over the past 25 years or so... they are the hardest for me to love...

i cringe when i think of how many times i pretend not to see the homeless guy on the corner holding a sign that reads: "Anything Helps! God Bless"

i cringe when i throw away tons of rotten food; i didn't eat all of it and it went sour. millions are dying of starvation in africa and here i am throwing away spoiled food... i suck!

i cringe when i remember someone from my childhood that i chose to ignore or make fun of... i had no idea how mean i was then... how we were then... how i can be... how we all can be. mean people suck!

i cringe when i think of how many hours i've wasted looking for things on craigslist... i'm always looking for something... car, housing, furniture, etc. will i ever be content with the things i already have?

i cringe... oh, how i cringe at so many things...

i know many of you are reading this and are thinking, steph, this is all forgiven, quit beating yourself up already! SHEESH!!! you're right... but i confess all of this because i know if i don't then it will continue to make me cringe and puke. maybe chunk's confessions were far from being contrite, he just didn't want his fingers to be blended to death or chopped off. i like my fingers and I don't want them blended either, but i must say it feels good get these off of my chest! i hope you all know i'm not beating myself up, i know my shortcomings and i believe in the power of redemption and healing. i really do!

please feel free to confess your cringes, if you will.

i'm off to sunny socal in a.m. for the week... we'll see if there's time to blog.

goodbye, my isosceles triangle mole formation

I'm a molely person. Two weeks ago I had two questionable moles removed from my body, again. One of them was part of this formation on my left arm that I affectionately call my isosceles triangle mole formation. I discovered it in my 10th grade geometry class; we had been discussing isosceles triangles and what not in class. i remember looking at my arm while being bored to tears, and I was tickled to death to see the formation. I quickly grabbed a pen and connected the moles and sure enough two out of the three sides were equally congruent. The image above is not to scale, and does not give my moles justice. I'm disappointed that the top of the triangle is going to replaced with a heinous looking scar. right now it's just a healing wound with a hello kitty band aid covering it. I'm grateful to have my moles removed since my family has a history of melanoma and we have to be careful. I recommend that if you haven't had your moles checked recently to do it. My mom told me that her doc said referring to melanoma as "sneaky bastards!" My biopsy turned out to be fine, no bad news. It just takes one bad one out of the hundreds on my body to ruin it for the rest.

frenching, blackmailing and the summer I was actually nice to my sister

So it was the summer that they called me Baby... wait, I'M quoting friggin' Dirty Dancing now? I hate that movie! I'm sick. Let me try this again... It was the summer before 6th grade, and things were looking pretty good for me. I made straight E's in 5th grade, started on my AAU basketball team, made a club soccer team, middle school was just around the corner, had my first boyfriend (josh, my major crush), and with that came my first kiss. Many of you are thinking, "Kiss? Like a real kiss? You mean you "frenched" someone in the 5th grade?!?!" YES, I did. I ran with the fast crowd then. Funny how we then referred to kiss kissing as "frenched." For instance, "yeah, on the back of the bus they frenched." Today, I can't imagine any of my friends telling me that they saw some people frenching or that they frenched someone on their date. We just say kiss or made out, and it is safe to assume that it's a french kinda kiss.

Anyway, so after my basketball game at this tournament in Ardmore, OK, my family with my friend Jenny and I go to a restaurant for dinner. Somehow that evening top secret information about me kissing Josh was leaked from the lips of Jenny to my sister, Michelle. I for some reason felt a great amount of shame, and didn't want my sister to know. Probably because I didn't want anyone to know about it, especially my family. I was 11, cut me some slack here. The next thing I know, my sister says to me, "I'm going to tell Mom!" I'm like, "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! DON'T! Please, please, please..." She realized at that very moment that her annoying little sister had in fact kissed a boy before she did, and that REALLY pissed her off! I mean, she's 2 years older than me, for crying out loud. And I'm sure her friends were kissing boys and she felt left out. Vindictively, my sister decides that her summer could be quite relaxing if she used this information against me.

As the summer began to unravel so did the torment of my sister. Mind you, I always had the upper hand growing up. I used to annoy the living daylights out of Michelle. If I got bored, I would go into her room and bug her until she either pinned me down and licked my face to death or yelled too much profanity at me that I couldn't take it. (Note: she also used to play that Dirty Dancing song that I HAAAATE with PASSION to get me out of her room.) I continue my normal pattern of behavior beginning of the summer, i.e. if you're bored go bug Michelle. But this time she, with the top secret info on me, says, "if you don't get out of my room I'm going to tell mom about..." Then proceeds to stick her tongue out like she's frenching the air. I'm like, "NO! Okay, I'll do whatever you want." She indeed then occupied the immediate power over me, and from that moment on I turn into THE nicest little sister EVER! I know hard to believe. For example, while playing in our pool I was so nice to Michelle and her friends while they were over swimming. I wouldn't harass them ilke I usually did. I would bring them beverages, hand them their towels, etc.

Oh, that summer I gave my sister full-time control over the TV remote. DO YOU REALIZE how horrible that is DURING the summer? I spent the ENTIRE summer watching lameo programming like Jem, soaps and shows that were on USA, which BTW is no longer in existence for the mere fact that their programming sucked! I wanted to watch CHIPs on TBS! I thought they were hot chasing speeding cars down the 405, is that wrong?

So yeah... I was blackmailed. I don't know if anyone out there has ever been blackmailed, but it sucks! I mean, you're controlled by someone who has something over you. Totally sucks! My summer and youth were robbed!

Eventually my observant mom starts wondering why her youngest daughter is all of a sudden being nice to her older sister. It was too odd for her, I suppose. Towards the end of the summer, my sister tries to blackmail me into something again, but this time my mom intervenes and says, "Okay, gigs up, Michelle. Stephanie, I know why you've been so nice to Michelle lately. She has been blackmailing you this whole time, and I know that you frenched Josh!" Of course, at that point I don't know if I was more mad that my mom knew, or that my wretched sister told my mom and was still blackmailing me! Regardless, I was mortified, completely and utterly mortified. To make matters worse, my mom asked me about the kiss. Eww!

Tony Campolo quote about Dobson

What are your thoughts on this quote by Tony Campolo, an evangelical author and social commentator.

“You dare not go against Jim Dobson these days. This is the guru, the new pope. He is infallible. Anybody that contradicts him is obviously out of the will of God.”

I think there are some Christian folks out there who worship or "idolize" Doc Dob's every notion on Christian living, morality and/or political values; and if you're a Christian who disagrees with him, then maybe you need be fasting and praying... because you're not right with God. Maybe there are some other Christian peeps who feel the same way about Campolo, Donald Miller or John Eldrige?

Thoughts???

I often wonder what if Christians actually focused more on loving God, each other and ourselves rather than putting all of our energy in changing laws or people. Have you seen someone come to Christ via morality?

Tom's versus Dove - this is about the pits!

In a lame attempt to start being a little more chunchy since I've been in Colorado for 3 years now, I decided a few weeks ago to buy Tom's of Maine deodorant from the Sunflower Market (health food store). I get the lavender scent because I love the smell and I thought it smelled better than the other scents. I came home after shopping and immediately put it on, ya know to try out my new product. It REALLY felt different than Dove. Like bad different. Like I don't like this kinda bad. Mind you, I have been a long-time, committed user of Dove. [I think Dove is the longest relationship I've EVER been in.] It smells great, goes on smooth, and I like it. BTW, at first it was hard to let go of Dove. I keep using Tom's, trying to give it the old college try, and it TOTALLY burns like hell. I don't like burning in my pits, okay. Sheesh! For a full week I use this Tom's and have pit-burn, it's like I'm torturing myself. So I finally tell someone about my burning sensation (never thought I'd say that) in my pits because at the time it was burning and that was all I could think about. She asked me if I shaved. And, I'm like yeah. She's all like that's probably why. So if you don't shave your pits you can use Tom's natural-organic deodorant without burning, apparently. My quandary: Do I shave my pits, use good ol' Tom's and have burning pits? Or, do I not shave use Tom's and have nonburning, hippy pits? Or, do I just go back to Dove and have normal smooth pits with no burning? Yeah... I'm wearin' Dove right now. If anyone can recommend a crunchy deodorant that won't burn my pits please let me know.

Thanks,
Armpit Management

welcome me to the world of bloggin'

it's about 1 a.m. and why not start my new blog page? yeah so, tonight i was convinced by my friend, jason the vegetarian firefighter, to start a blog. he's doing one while he's in costa rica for a month. i'm not doing anything cool like him. so while trying to put away the butt-load of clothes that are stacked on my bed, i thought i could clear off my bed OR start a blog. obviously, i decided to blog. there you go... that's why i decided to do this. to avoid putting my clothes away... i'm lame.

oh, last night i saw rosie thomas at the hi-dive. great show minus the drunk lameos who decided to act like jerks at the end of it. regardless, rosie was amazing! it was cool to meet her and see her perform. i even saw an old college friend of mine, jeff shoop; he's on tour with rosie. anyway, check rosie out www.rosiethomas.com

aight, it's time for bed. really... it is.