"non smoking dogs"

After several weeks of house rental hunting, my roommate and I are very close to securing one.

I must say, we've seen some funny ones, but I feel like landlords are some of the interesting characters. Like this one dude was totally Barney Fife. Sounded like him and everything.

What cracks me up are people describing their rentals. Um-yeah, this one guy was like "are you ready to see a place that will change your life?" We saw it and my immediate thought was if I lived there I would end my life. I think I've seen public restrooms as better options.

Man, yesterday we looked at this one. Geesh, first these guys on the other half of the duplex we're yelling at video games, and then when my roommate walked by they yelled "hello" and then "I love you". We both were like no way just dealing with obnoxious college boys. Then the landlady walked by and yelled at them for talking to us. So, we go inside and my first sniff was like "wow, it's a potpourri of cat urine, mothballs, mold and ass. Gee, let me think -- um no!"

I've decided that words that people use to make their rentals sound better like for instance 'cozy' = closet; 'full basement' = storage basement; 'unique' or 'charming' = wacky nonconforming piece of crap.

Lastly, my favorite craigs some posting had 'non smoking dogs only' um, okay...

So, hopefully by this weekend we'll sign a lease!

DQ

"I don't eat meat..." "Shwto?"

This scene from 'Everything Is Illuminated' makes me laugh for so many reasons. The post-Soviet culture to being a veggie. I can't tell you how many times I've had this conversation with Americans, not Russians since I wasn't a veg then. And, I'm amazed that my choice to be a vegetarian offends people. I don't understand it.

But ya know, we live in a society where people solely eat meat, no fruit. Any diet out there that says you can eat greasy bacon and not fruit is totally jacked up!

But if you're at all interested in learning more about being a vegetarian / vegan then click on this link. It'll answer some of your questions like: How do you get enough protein if you don't eat meat? Heard of a complete protein before? Beans + rice = complete protein. Hummus + pita = complete protein. Much healthier than meat.

Things I remember...

the time I woke up being carried by my mom; someone was trying to break into our house while my dad was out of town. After being carried and flung around like a ragdoll, I rubbed my eyes and realized that I was in my parents' bathroom. There I was just standing there trying to make sense of the everything. My mom was frantically calling the police while our dog Ginger was barking like crazy and my sister was dancing around the bathroom because she had to pee. My mom told her to go to bathroom since we were in the bathroom; that wasn't the funny thing but the fact that my old house had like over 20 phone jacks throughout the house, even in the bathrooms. I guess my mom was glad we had one; the robber 'the snake' didn't officially break into our house, just tried to.

my first fear of losing someone. I was in pre-school and while my carpool dropped me off, we noticed my dad's car was home, which was unusually since he was supposed to be at work. So, I go inside and find my parents in their room embracing as they sat on their bed; my mom was crying. My dad told me that she had wrecked the family station wagon. The next day or so we went to the junkyard to get some of my mom's personal belongings; the car was all smashed up. So I kissed the car hoping it would turn back into the car it used to be. I knew at that moment that magic was fake... but the truth is I knew I was very close to losing my mom. It definitely scared me enough that I wouldn't let my mom out of my sight for years... nothing could happen to her if I was around.

I also remember cussing for the first time. I was like 6 or something and I called my sister an "ass" when we were playing some game. I think my mom just laughed.

Losing my first tooth after biting into a chewy cookie.

Seeing 'ET' in the theatre.

Laughing so hard that I hit my head on my bed frame and then got a concussion. The babysitter was taking care of us. After we dropped her off, I puked in the car all over the place.

I forged my mom's signature in 5th grade because I didn't want to go to some dumb choir thing. My mom busted me and said, "I would've signed it if you didn't want to go. But I must say your forgery is quite good." I like it that my mom gave me props for my forgery techniques. A skill that came in handy.

Every night growing up I lied in bed terrified that the scary ax guy standing outside my bedroom was going to chop me up to death. I was just lying there scared to death. I didn't move a muscle in case he knew I was watching him. The next day I would check for foot prints by my bedroom window. No prints, but there was a small shrub there that I believe to this day morphed itself into a scary ax man.

My high school art teacher, Mr. Leaf, thought that my drawings were phallic. Okay, weirdo. But he was the guy who sold, ahem, I mean stole my design, creation for $50 to the boys soccer team. Bastard!

Lots of things come to mind, I suppose.