entropy.

It's been awhile since I've written on my blog. Mostly because my mind has been in 10,000 places. But with that said, I'm reminded about entropy. I'm not into science at all, but I like the idea of entropy which describes probably everything that is going on in my life.

What is entropy?

• Well, essentially the idea of entropy is disorder in a system. And, this has to deal with thermodynamic laws, but for us normal people out there I'm going to simplify this for us.
• We are constantly maintaining these systems, e.g. mowing lawns, cleaning, showering, etc. For instance, if I neglect doing my dishes or picking-up my crap that I've left all over my apartment then what would happen? Unfortunately things don't magically return to their proper spot (strangely growing up my stuff always got to the right spot - thanks to my A.R. mom); instead, my apartment would look like a cross between a junkyard or 50-yearold bachelor's pad. So, I'm constantly maintaining my apartment -- dishes, sweeping, laundry, straightening up, dusting, wiping counters, etc.

From the basic maintenance of an 650 sqft apartment to laws of thermodynamics, I feel like this 'notion' of entropy stems from the 'fall' and because of that we, too, experience entropy. For me, physically, I'm going through some health problems the past few weeks. The kidney stones (Urethra Franklin and Stone Phillips) are still in my kidneys and I should have them 'blasted out' in the next few weeks. AND, the radiologist not only found my stones but he/she also found some kind 'abnormality' on my right femur (femoral neck) - could be a cyst or some other kind of 'deformity'. Although, I would love to say that I'm fine, I'm not freaked out at all. But to be honest as my body experiences this 'entropy' I'm a bit uneasy about it. I tend to think of worst case scenario - which is every scary thing you can think of -- losing a limb. Then I'm like oh, it's probably nothing... but what if? So you see I'm trying to have a good perspective, but this waiting is killin' me.

I need patience. I need peace. I need healing. I need to surrender and allow God to walk with me through this odd time. I'm sure trusting God is huge part of it. I've even given myself pat answers, but to be honest I don't want to hear them. So, I told myself to shut-up the other day...

I should hear back from my orthopedic surgeon sometime this coming Monday or Tuesday. He has to review my MRI.

Though I'd love to continue to process this on my blog - but my main purpose in writing this is a request for prayer. I believe in prayer, and if you are the praying type I ask for your coveted prayers.