I can't recall how many times I thought about running away as a kid. The one time I can actually remembering running away I was either 5 or 6. I remember being really upset with my mom. Like crying then threatening I would run away; then I went into to my bedroom and packed my stuff. I actually got a stick and tied bandanna on it, I put a few things in it. Then I walked out the front door, of course sniffing and making a scene... my last words being "Bye. I'm NEVER coming back!" [Then I think I heard I Will Survive playing as background music.] The hobo like run away stick sat over my little shoulders as I turned around hoping my mom would come after me.
A few seconds later, my mom followed me trying to convince me to come back, of course I'm pretty sure she was trying not to laugh because I had the hobo stick on my shoulder. She said something about the 'Boogie Man' would be out there lurking around the corners, THAT was someone who definitely scared me a bit. But I remember that I was VERY determined to run away with my hobo stick. I'm not sure why I thought to make one of those hobo / run away stick-bandanna things, but I did. Perhaps I watched Tom and Jerry too much? Regardless, me and my hobo stick made it a couple houses up the street. I'm not sure if I knew where I was going to go, but I think as soon as my mom turned around and walked back inside the house after she unsuccessfully tried to convince me to come back, was surprisingly the exact moment that I decided to saunter back home. I had made a scene, a VERY dramatic one.
I think I still contemplate running away. Strange to think someone in her late 20s really has thought about just leaving and running away from it all. The thought has crossed my mind a few times especially when I drive east on I-70 to DIA (Denver Int'l Airport) I think about driving back home to Oklahoma instead of picking up my friend or catching my flight\; and, running away from responsibility here in Denver. Starting over. Hmm, more like returning back to my vomit, albeit.
I think we run away, perhaps not physically per se, but rather from things in life when it gets too hard. We close off from people; stop showing up to things like church or meetings, or perhaps even not returning phone calls or emails. Avoiding is a form of running. I know, I invented it. The times I've run or thought about running like being mad at my mom when I was kid, or work or life in Denver gets too rough and I just want to bail and go back home. Running. I"m really just running away from what's difficult and challenging.
You know those people who have that glamorous adventurous life (hopping from one country to the next or city to city stateside) perhaps they are really just running away? From what? Being an adult? Settling down? Fear of failure in life? Fear of being sucked into the 'American Dream' and sitting behind a desk all day long? However, I still admire them, and would love to join them, again.
Me and my hobo stick are far from running these days. I will face life's challenges. I think Visa once said something about going where life takes you or something along those lines.
I'm going, not running (away).
6 comments:
weird things i did as a kid . . .
(the list is endless but we'll go with these gems)
a) after watching an episode of Punky Brewster in which Punky and Cherri dress like boys so they can enter a remote control car contest, my friend amy and i dressed up like boys, snuck out the back door, ran around to the front and rang the doorbell. When my mom answered, we pretended to be neighborhood boys. for some reason, she didn't buy it.
b) The same friend and I paper machaied our arms at my house then walked to her house where we told her mom that we both fell out of a tree and my mom had taken us to the hospital to get casts. for some reason she didn't buy it.
c) I once cut the hair off of one of my Barbie dolls and spread it on my sister's pillow. The night, as she was getting into bed, i told her she was loosing her hair, and thus probably dying of cancer. this one, she bought. in her defense she was only 10.
On a more serious note, thank you for the thoughts on grown up running away. They hit home this morning.
I'm familiar with this running away that you speak of... as I threatened and was successful on many occassion. I remember one instance where I just walked out (sans hobo stick) and I got about 2 miles from my house where my dad came screeching up next to me and hauled my smart ass in the car. And we proceeded to have "words" all the way home. I believe I said something about going to an orphanage so I could be adopted by a family that was less f'd up. Apparently I thought angry 14 year olds were a hot item, and I'd be snatched right up.
That other grown up running way. Yep, I don't know anything about that. I am however off to Zimbabwe this week, to a remote area where no one can reach me. ;)
Cara, wow. those were frickin' hilarious! who knew Barbie hair could be so vindictive? paper machaied casts? LOL!
And, adult running comes in many forms, I'm afraid.
Libby, I think a pissed off teenager would be quite the catch at the orphanage.
Very cool you're in Zimbabwe doing some marketing there, I presume?
Right now, I have the bloody Tiffany song in my head... running just as fast as we can (can, can) holding on to one another's hands (hands, hands) trying to get away into the night...
...and you put your arms around...
just kidding.
Steph -
you have a great sermon outline with this one. I am gonna steal it...that's what we were told to do here in Seminary. when you see something good that works...steal it (with permission). So, hopefully you are good with me stealing this idea. think of the possiblities. The lost son, some verse about how not letting our hearts be trouble because our father has our real room ready for us in heaven. you get the idea. Thanks.
ok. i guess my blog can double as place to steal sermon ideas.
but i think the real chunk of this is how are we running from God? or from our community?
april! we're hobo-stick twins!!! give me a holla if you wanna do that sometime... i've got some work deadlines that i'd like run from like now!
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