Thursday, June 7

Blocking Babushkas

No this isn't a name for my new emo band, although I'm liking the name. It's actually this idea I have to combat the porn industry.

You see on Colfax St in Denver there are some hip places to grab a bite to eat, chill at some local indie coffee shops, see a show at a cool venue and that's all with the backdrop of prostitutes sauntering the streets and the plethora of XXX stores.

If I had it my way I would get rid of those stores altogether! But apparently they have quite the business.

I've had this crazy idea to hire grandmas (babushkas) to stand in front of the doors passively blocking store patrons from entering the store.

I got the idea from my time in Russia. In Russia these old ladies or grandmas are called babushkas, and they're so-called uniform is a scarf over their head and they typically carry bags of stuff, and I would definitely say they are quite feisty.

The babushkas there were always telling you what you should and shouldn't do. For instance, it was in the upper 50's, which felt super warm to us, so a friend of mine was wearing flip flops. This babushka told her off, in Russian, that she shouldn't be wearing sandals. I can't tell you how many times I was told to wear a shwapka (hat) when it was not hat weather.

Babushkas aren't afraid to speak their minds, especially when it comes things that the youth are doing wrong.

So, having a campaign of some sorts with these grandmas blocking the doors I think would work. Passive aggressive, perhaps it is. But I can guarantee you that these blocking babushkas will keep men second guessing entering the dodgy stores.

THIS is my subtle way to block the porn industry.

6 comments:

travis said...

Dear Bansheewigs Inc.,
I would like to purchase one porn shop door blocking babushka for Adult Odyssey (nice name, huh?) of Marhsalltown, IA.
Please find the enclosed check made out for $19.99 for the purchase of one babushka.
Regards,
Travis Mullen
Marshalltown, IA

bansheewigs said...

Thank you for your purchase of a blocking babushka.

Delivery will take 2 to 3 months.

It has been requested of Olga to please supply her with borsht, cabbage, hot tea, and fish.

Bansheewigs Inc.

Lisa said...

That is some smart thinking, my friend. only a mind like yours would do that sort of thinking...

jd said...

nothing wrong with hip coffee shops on colfax. also, we often have the male version of babushka's that sit outside our storefront.

Susanne said...

Hey there Steph! Was thinking today about our lunch on Colfax when I was prego...the kids are already a year. Time flies. Hope you are well!

susanne

Alison G said...

i love this idea. you've mentioned it before but i didn't know it involved babushkas that are fiesty. i thought you were thinking regular run of the mill US grammies. this is an even better idea. the men will get berated as they walk in....LOVE IT!

also, my friend, heidi, in sd is working for an org thats working to stop human trafficking. she says that number 1 way of doing that is by getting men to stop looking at porn and using prostitutes.

NOTE: MEN WHO USE PROSTITUTES ARE REVOLTING, NASTY, DISGUSTING SLIMEBALLS. (I could continue).