Chainsaws, spanish, allergies & pine trees

This morning I woke up to the sound of men talking, okay more like yelling. I was super annoyed because just 3 hours before I was blowing snotrockets into some recycled TP. Up all night, actually.

Allergies.

I hate allergies.

This is my second round this season of feeling like butt from allergies.

So when I heard these men yelling, I was beyond annoyed. Granted it was 8:15 a.m. and I was still in bed; at about 2:30 a.m. I had already made the executive decision to use my sick time.

I then realized that these guys were yelling in spanish. Then I heard a chainsaw.

My immediate thought was how do I yell out the window 'shut the &*@# up!' in spanish!? I'm not a very nice person when I'm sick and trying to sleep...

So, I got out of bed and immediately went into the bathroom to blow more snotrockets and do some nasal irrigation.

I then contemplated why the following have let me down: claritin-D, claritin, flonase, alegra-D, republicans, etc.

More chainsaw noise.

More of me cussing in my head (no espanol).

I realized at this point that I'm dying. Dying of allergies. I remembered that there's this huge tree outside one of my bedroom windows. Pine tree over three stories in height. That's why I'm dying.

Then I was trying to think of the spanish text for: Please cut down the pine tree by my window.

Decided to wash all of my bedding to get rid of the pine tree pollen, which I suspected was causing my problems.

So... I went to the doc this afternoon got a new prescription for some new allergy meds. She thinks I might have sinus infection. Suck!

The end.

Blocking Babushkas

No this isn't a name for my new emo band, although I'm liking the name. It's actually this idea I have to combat the porn industry.

You see on Colfax St in Denver there are some hip places to grab a bite to eat, chill at some local indie coffee shops, see a show at a cool venue and that's all with the backdrop of prostitutes sauntering the streets and the plethora of XXX stores.

If I had it my way I would get rid of those stores altogether! But apparently they have quite the business.

I've had this crazy idea to hire grandmas (babushkas) to stand in front of the doors passively blocking store patrons from entering the store.

I got the idea from my time in Russia. In Russia these old ladies or grandmas are called babushkas, and they're so-called uniform is a scarf over their head and they typically carry bags of stuff, and I would definitely say they are quite feisty.

The babushkas there were always telling you what you should and shouldn't do. For instance, it was in the upper 50's, which felt super warm to us, so a friend of mine was wearing flip flops. This babushka told her off, in Russian, that she shouldn't be wearing sandals. I can't tell you how many times I was told to wear a shwapka (hat) when it was not hat weather.

Babushkas aren't afraid to speak their minds, especially when it comes things that the youth are doing wrong.

So, having a campaign of some sorts with these grandmas blocking the doors I think would work. Passive aggressive, perhaps it is. But I can guarantee you that these blocking babushkas will keep men second guessing entering the dodgy stores.

THIS is my subtle way to block the porn industry.