bansheewigs are sold out!

done

2008-03-21T22:48:00.003-07:00

i've decided to end my blog mostly because i've lost interest in it. i left a couple blog entries that are my faves.

the end.

my week in jail... i mean, vail

2008-03-16T22:02:00.005-07:00

So last week I spent the entire week in Vail, not jail -- like my mom first thought when I told her. "You're in jail?!"

It was weird, not the snowboarding part. That I LOVE to do. I spent most of the week going solo. When you're by yourself on the lifts and at a ski condo, either you're more likely to talk to people or other people are more likely to talk to you.

Needless to say, I observed several things. Though some of this might sound judgmental or whatever, but nonetheless these are my observations... so deal with it.

I felt like most of the people there weren't necessarily hardcore or avid skiers and snowboarders -- dude most of them were coasting on the greens -- they were usually folks who had some serious money like where they could buy super expensive lift tickets, pay for airfare, and condos or a house (which many owned those). The privilege.

I know what you're thinking, "aren't you one of those privilege?"

Well, I would say I'm that local die hard who's addicted to snowboarding because I am. Not to say those guys aren't addicted to their yearly trip to the slopes, but it's just different. To me it doesn't matter where I ride as long as the snow is good and lift lines are short I'm a very happy camper!

I guess, to be honest, I felt out of place amongst the wealthy. It's almost the middle-class kid showing up at the exclusive country club in the neighborhood and realizing that he/she has more in common with the bathroom cleaning lady than the members.

Sorry if this sounds critical, it's more of an internal conflict I personally have. I met so many people who vacation at Vail or Beaver Creek and spend tons of money for just 4 or 5 days on the slopes, probably what they pay for their lift tix is what I pay for my season pass.

Needless to say, I don't think I'll stop snowboarding or anything like that because of this. Really it's more like an odd feeling I have. I can see why so many of my friends screw the resorts and head to back country. They do it for the love of the sport not for the prestige, power, and way to show-off your wealth to your friends.

Anyway, I loved my trip and very much appreciated the free ski condo I got for the week.

All the dogs I loved before...

2007-12-01T15:58:00.002-07:00

I have had only 3 dogs in my life.

First there was Ginger. A mid-sized poodle and she was appropriately named Ginger since she had 'ginger' colored hair. Man, I loved that dog and I'm pretty sure she loved me more. I successfully fed her food since ripe old age of 1. My first sentence was "Ginger, get down!" I think I thought that was her formal name. I like the name Ginger because since she was my first dog and all, I have a nice 'stage name' = Ginger Sundown. Look out Colfax, my go-go boots ready to go minus my bloody Swedish calves are too big for me to wear the boots. Oh what was I talking about... ah-yes, Ginger. I was very sad in 6th grade to lose her. My favorite thing about her is that she would super duper excited if anyone came over. In fact, so excited that she wet her pants, if she had pants, but since she doesn't she peed all of the floor inevitably. Then she would get embarrassed, the shameful kind where you want to write to YM and tell them about your mortified stories. Ginger died mostly because she was ready to. She knew it was her time yet we kept feeding her fancy food she couldn't resist. Cancer took her life. We all missed her. And still to this day I am convinced that she was the glue that held my family together.

Then there was Muggsy a Shih Tzu; Muggsy was named after Muggsy Bogues the shortest NBA basketball player, 5'3'' [my height]. We got him when I was a snotty teenager; he's more dysfunctional dog since the year we got him was the same year my parents seperated. He had master-issues which caused him to act out by peeing all over my soccer bag and corners of furniture. Man, Muggsy was freakin' hilarious. This was the kind of dog you could totally be yourself in front of, but he wouldn't understand a word you were talking about unless you mentioned the words: cookie, walk, or Muggsy. He wasn't smart but I taught him a few tricks like begging on his hind legs for food and stealing my sister's undies from her room. He loved to play chase -- we joked that he was a running back in a former life -- and he loved to eat cookies / treats. He died due to the fact he was addicted to 'roids from a back injury, slipped disc. He's missed and is currently buried in my mom's backyard by a tree.

And, last but certainly not least, my step-dog Honey, a honey colored mutt with mix btwn yellow lab and some other less attractive dogs. She's my step-dog since she was techinically my step-dad's dog. Anyway she died this past week and is the main reason why I'm writing this. We were all shocked by her untimely departure. She was an odd dog and thought everything was weird. This dog never played with dog toys or did anything dog like. She was a roamer and hated to be boxed in the backyard. In fact she was nicknamed Houdini because somehow she would always find a way to get out of the backyard and into the front. She once got busted by the po-po for roaming around the hood. What can I say this girl liked to lay out in front lawn and people watch and some dog-cop decided to shoot her with tranquilizer, bastard! Poor thing was so freaked out after that she hid in my mom's closet for a week! Anyway, Honey's bark was worse than her bite, not that she bit me or anything. Her disposition was gentle, odd, and very sweet. She will be missed.

I hope to get a dog some day. I want a big dog, but not so big that I can't pick her up. I want a girl dog because Muggsy peed all over my stuff growing up and that totally pissed me off!

I'll attach a picture of each dog when I can so you can what they looked like.

Anyway, please feel free to post comments about all of the dogs you loved before. AND, please post real dogs not your ex-boyfriends. Gracias!

The Ralph Saga

2007-10-22T00:29:00.004-06:00

Ralph, as in puke, came into the house tonight as soon as I opened the door to come inside. [Just so you know, he or she (not sure the sex) is the displaced neighborhood cat.]

So, he ran straight to my room, then under my bed.

My roommate Karen and I didn't know what to do. I mean, Denver had our first snowstorm of the season, so it's quite cold outside.

So, I gave Ralph some of Karen's milk. I don't own cat food or anything similar to cat food. I have hummus. That's what I eat.

Ralph takes a couple of sips of milk then curls up on the couch.

A few hours later Karen and I look at each other and talk about Ralph staying the night. I was open to the idea since it's cold, but I didn't want Ralph to keep me up and he's stranger. Plus lets not forget he bit my shoulder a few weeks ago, little effer.

Anyway, Karen opens the door and on our front porch she sees Ralph's ralph, real puke. That was a deal breaker for Karen. So she threw him out.

I feel bad. I do. I mean, the cat needs a home, but neither one of us want a cat. So... yeah.

30 Update and Ralph the Cat

2007-10-09T20:51:00.002-06:00

So, I've been 30 for over a month now. It's been good so far. I mean, my health looks good so far: no cavities, no changes with the eye sight, no potential surgeries. So, all and all good signs of health.

But, ever since I moved into my fabulous new house, my roommate and I have had a little visitor. His name is Ralph, as in puke, he's black with yellow-greenish eyes. Very slender. Anyway, any time I'm on the front porch he'll somehow appear. Usually, while I'm eating bruschetta and drinking a glass of vino he'll come meowing up a storm.

As expected, I at first was apprehensive towards the cat. Mostly because I don't like cats all that much. I'm a dog lover.

I kinda assumed that the cat was only befriending me because I'm 30 and single. My big fear was that he and the rest of his cohorts will strategically make me the crazy cat lady in the ensuing years, possibly months. Of course, I'm resisting and hopeful that I won't be. I'd rather be the crazy dog lady on the street.

Needless to say, in a few short weeks the bloody cat, Ralph, began to warm-up to me. I mean, I looked forward to his visits and his unabashedly sitting on my lap while eating or working on my laptop.

All was good until last night. I was petting Ralph and being playful with him. My roommate and I even commented on how we could trust Ralph. And then, out of no where, he bit my effing clavicle! I have two bite marks on my shoulder blade.

I can't trust Ralph. He's not the cat I thought he was. It's over, Ralph. Over.

my new killer workout

2007-09-29T17:08:00.003-06:00

Trade

2007-09-28T13:38:00.002-06:00

If there's ever a movie that anyone should see, it's the new film Trade.

I saw this film in August, a special showing for film critics. I'm not a film critic, well a professional one. I only saw the film because it was a work thing for me. Don't believe the critics reviews, they're a bunch burnt-out lameos who missed the point of this poignant film.

Trade is about sex / human trafficking not only in the States, but across the globe. Never have I ever felt so much emotion towards an issue that impacts everyone. I cannot reiterate enough that this film has captured the humanistic side of an industry that is vile and disgusting I left feeling like I wish God never created sex. I did. The reason why this heinous act exists is because of creepy men demand it. If there wasn't a demand then there would be no sex trafficking.

Moreover, as we're moving towards an important election year keep sex trafficking in mind when you vote on immigration reform. In fact, I highly recommend that you ask your federal and state legislators specifically how their immigration reform will impact sex trafficking in the US. The demand for it also comes from the allure of desire to live in a prosperous country with strict immigration.

Click on this link for more info on Trade; and get involved to help combat the sex trafficking industry.

"non smoking dogs"

2007-08-15T22:18:00.003-06:00

After several weeks of house rental hunting, my roommate and I are very close to securing one.

I must say, we've seen some funny ones, but I feel like landlords are some of the interesting characters. Like this one dude was totally Barney Fife. Sounded like him and everything.

What cracks me up are people describing their rentals. Um-yeah, this one guy was like "are you ready to see a place that will change your life?" We saw it and my immediate thought was if I lived there I would end my life. I think I've seen public restrooms as better options.

Man, yesterday we looked at this one. Geesh, first these guys on the other half of the duplex we're yelling at video games, and then when my roommate walked by they yelled "hello" and then "I love you". We both were like no way just dealing with obnoxious college boys. Then the landlady walked by and yelled at them for talking to us. So, we go inside and my first sniff was like "wow, it's a potpourri of cat urine, mothballs, mold and ass. Gee, let me think -- um no!"

I've decided that words that people use to make their rentals sound better like for instance 'cozy' = closet; 'full basement' = storage basement; 'unique' or 'charming' = wacky nonconforming piece of crap.

Lastly, my favorite craigs some posting had 'non smoking dogs only' um, okay...

So, hopefully by this weekend we'll sign a lease!

DQ

2007-08-08T09:29:00.001-06:00

"I don't eat meat..." "Shwto?"

2007-08-05T14:37:00.001-06:00

This scene from 'Everything Is Illuminated' makes me laugh for so many reasons. The post-Soviet culture to being a veggie. I can't tell you how many times I've had this conversation with Americans, not Russians since I wasn't a veg then. And, I'm amazed that my choice to be a vegetarian offends people. I don't understand it.

But ya know, we live in a society where people solely eat meat, no fruit. Any diet out there that says you can eat greasy bacon and not fruit is totally jacked up!

But if you're at all interested in learning more about being a vegetarian / vegan then click on this link. It'll answer some of your questions like: How do you get enough protein if you don't eat meat? Heard of a complete protein before? Beans + rice = complete protein. Hummus + pita = complete protein. Much healthier than meat.

Things I remember...

2007-08-01T23:18:00.001-06:00

the time I woke up being carried by my mom; someone was trying to break into our house while my dad was out of town. After being carried and flung around like a ragdoll, I rubbed my eyes and realized that I was in my parents' bathroom. There I was just standing there trying to make sense of the everything. My mom was frantically calling the police while our dog Ginger was barking like crazy and my sister was dancing around the bathroom because she had to pee. My mom told her to go to bathroom since we were in the bathroom; that wasn't the funny thing but the fact that my old house had like over 20 phone jacks throughout the house, even in the bathrooms. I guess my mom was glad we had one; the robber 'the snake' didn't officially break into our house, just tried to.

my first fear of losing someone. I was in pre-school and while my carpool dropped me off, we noticed my dad's car was home, which was unusually since he was supposed to be at work. So, I go inside and find my parents in their room embracing as they sat on their bed; my mom was crying. My dad told me that she had wrecked the family station wagon. The next day or so we went to the junkyard to get some of my mom's personal belongings; the car was all smashed up. So I kissed the car hoping it would turn back into the car it used to be. I knew at that moment that magic was fake... but the truth is I knew I was very close to losing my mom. It definitely scared me enough that I wouldn't let my mom out of my sight for years... nothing could happen to her if I was around.

I also remember cussing for the first time. I was like 6 or something and I called my sister an "ass" when we were playing some game. I think my mom just laughed.

Losing my first tooth after biting into a chewy cookie.

Seeing 'ET' in the theatre.

Laughing so hard that I hit my head on my bed frame and then got a concussion. The babysitter was taking care of us. After we dropped her off, I puked in the car all over the place.

I forged my mom's signature in 5th grade because I didn't want to go to some dumb choir thing. My mom busted me and said, "I would've signed it if you didn't want to go. But I must say your forgery is quite good." I like it that my mom gave me props for my forgery techniques. A skill that came in handy.

Every night growing up I lied in bed terrified that the scary ax guy standing outside my bedroom was going to chop me up to death. I was just lying there scared to death. I didn't move a muscle in case he knew I was watching him. The next day I would check for foot prints by my bedroom window. No prints, but there was a small shrub there that I believe to this day morphed itself into a scary ax man.

My high school art teacher, Mr. Leaf, thought that my drawings were phallic. Okay, weirdo. But he was the guy who sold, ahem, I mean stole my design, creation for $50 to the boys soccer team. Bastard!

Lots of things come to mind, I suppose.

Um, so yeah...

2007-07-18T08:42:00.002-06:00

Last night while watching TV I see in the corner of my eye something flying around my apt.

At first I thought it was a bird. I wigged out a little bit. Okay, a lot. Ran into my guest bedroom and shut the door. Again, totally wigged out!

Then, I opened up the guest bedroom window and took the screen off so that the confused 'bird' could fly out.

Well, the 'bird' flew into the room and I ran out and shut the door. But while the 'bird' flew by me, I realized that the bird = bat!

Yes, a friggin' BAT was in my apt last night!

The bat was in the guest room, chillin' on the window frame, but wouldn't fly out. Bats = stupid and they are gross.

So, I call my mom. She has no advice to give me other than calling my maintenance people from my building.

I call. "Um-yeah, hi, you're totally not going to believe this, but there's a bat in my apartment!"

Meanwhile, I'm still thinking the bat is in the guest bedroom or has flown out the window. I open the door slowly and peak in the room. No bat. I think, "well I guess he flew out! Whew!"

I check around the room. Oh, keep in mind, the whole time I'm holding a broom.

Then I think the coast is clear and I shut the window. Check some of the nooks and crannies in the room. No bat in here. Good! Then I turn around and start to walk out of the room and I see the bat flying around my living room and kitchen.

At this point I'm beyond disgusted and creeped out.

So, I'm taking swats at the bat when it flies towards me. BAM!!

I then open my apt door so the bat will fly out of my apt and go bother some other tenant.

I sent a text message to my friends, some of you got it. TM read: Bat = in apt! Omg! I'm totally freaked!

Anyway, the bat was in the kitchen for awhile and the landlord property manager stops by and helps me.

By then the bat went through my kitchen window screen, which was kind of cracked from the wind. And eventually he was completely out. I hate bats! Man, they are creepy little flying creatures!

I'm still completely grossed out by it. BTW, I'm already moving out my apt in a week or so.

Here's a picture of the bat outside my kitchen window last night. Ewwww!

craigslist giggles

2007-07-11T09:53:00.001-06:00

Lately I've been obsessed with craigslist especially with (a) finding a new place to live and (b) finding a bike.

Below is one of the funniest craigs' postings I've ever seen! Well, besides some of those creepy personals.

check it:
http://denver.craigslist.org/bik/368492314.html

[Note: since the link is being lame here's what you would've seen]

**CLOWN BIKE ** - $25
Reply to: sale-368492314@craigslist.orgDate: 2007-07-07, 9:07AM MDT27"tall bike. Adult can ride! Cash only.

Chainsaws, spanish, allergies & pine trees

2007-06-12T17:42:00.003-06:00

This morning I woke up to the sound of men talking, okay more like yelling. I was super annoyed because just 3 hours before I was blowing snotrockets into some recycled TP. Up all night, actually.

Allergies.

I hate allergies.

This is my second round this season of feeling like butt from allergies.

So when I heard these men yelling, I was beyond annoyed. Granted it was 8:15 a.m. and I was still in bed; at about 2:30 a.m. I had already made the executive decision to use my sick time.

I then realized that these guys were yelling in spanish. Then I heard a chainsaw.

My immediate thought was how do I yell out the window 'shut the &*@# up!' in spanish!? I'm not a very nice person when I'm sick and trying to sleep...

So, I got out of bed and immediately went into the bathroom to blow more snotrockets and do some nasal irrigation.

I then contemplated why the following have let me down: claritin-D, claritin, flonase, alegra-D, republicans, etc.

More chainsaw noise.

More of me cussing in my head (no espanol).

I realized at this point that I'm dying. Dying of allergies. I remembered that there's this huge tree outside one of my bedroom windows. Pine tree over three stories in height. That's why I'm dying.

Then I was trying to think of the spanish text for: Please cut down the pine tree by my window.

Decided to wash all of my bedding to get rid of the pine tree pollen, which I suspected was causing my problems.

So... I went to the doc this afternoon got a new prescription for some new allergy meds. She thinks I might have sinus infection. Suck!

The end.

Blocking Babushkas

2007-06-07T14:23:00.002-06:00

No this isn't a name for my new emo band, although I'm liking the name. It's actually this idea I have to combat the porn industry.

You see on Colfax St in Denver there are some hip places to grab a bite to eat, chill at some local indie coffee shops, see a show at a cool venue and that's all with the backdrop of prostitutes sauntering the streets and the plethora of XXX stores.

If I had it my way I would get rid of those stores altogether! But apparently they have quite the business.

I've had this crazy idea to hire grandmas (babushkas) to stand in front of the doors passively blocking store patrons from entering the store.

I got the idea from my time in Russia. In Russia these old ladies or grandmas are called babushkas, and they're so-called uniform is a scarf over their head and they typically carry bags of stuff, and I would definitely say they are quite feisty.

The babushkas there were always telling you what you should and shouldn't do. For instance, it was in the upper 50's, which felt super warm to us, so a friend of mine was wearing flip flops. This babushka told her off, in Russian, that she shouldn't be wearing sandals. I can't tell you how many times I was told to wear a shwapka (hat) when it was not hat weather.

Babushkas aren't afraid to speak their minds, especially when it comes things that the youth are doing wrong.

So, having a campaign of some sorts with these grandmas blocking the doors I think would work. Passive aggressive, perhaps it is. But I can guarantee you that these blocking babushkas will keep men second guessing entering the dodgy stores.

THIS is my subtle way to block the porn industry.

Bicycle seats the culprit for deflated love lives?

2007-05-24T12:07:00.003-06:00

So apparently we can all stop blaming our parents and ex's for our deflated love lives... well, that is if you ride a bike. You can now put the blame on bikes!

Why bikes? you suspiciously ask.

Well, it's not so much the bike itself but the actual bike seat.

After riding your bike or going to spin class you get off your bike and you've probably noticed that you're a bit numb in the bicycle seat area, i.e. crotch.

Traditional bike seats, the kind with a narrow rear and pointy nose, could lead to or play a role in sexual impotence, sadly.

In fact, there was a study by Boston University in Italy found that the more a person rides, the greater the risk of impotence or loss of libido -- seriously! And, mountain bikers experience 'saddle-related trauma' as well.

Those crafty bicycle seats mostly affect men's love lives, however, women can have similar issues to men, i.e. low sex-drive or sexual dysfunction.

Whew! Before you start crying and bringing your bike to those expensive counselor appointments or even posting your brand new bike on Craigslist, it's been suggested to buy a new seat for your bike that's specifically designed to protect your privates.

Or, you could try a different position while riding your bike.

Or, you could just continue riding your bike, like you do, with a numb crotch, and become a Nun or Monk. I hear they have some great internships!

good-bye flip flops (sniff, sniff)

2007-05-18T12:24:00.004-06:00

This morning I walked to work, but this time I looked different. It's Friday, even though it's not casual friday I always manage to be less concerned with my Friday attire. I'm a rebel.

But since it's basically summer, I wore a casual skirt and a blouse, mostly casual business. OK, Colorado business casual. But, my shoes... you'll laugh and think I'm a dork, but I'm wearing my running shoes. Yes, running shoes! Because of this recent pain, I just can't walk in my flip flops anymore. So, I've decided that I'm going to have to retire my flip-flops until further notice.

Totally sucks because flip flops = warm weather = cute flip flops = painted toes = me happy. But the reality is flip flops are horrible for your feet. I'll probably sport my chacos, they have support, but I'm gonna have to say peace out to my flip flops.

So sad.

But when you're in pain you have to admit it and choose comfort over cute.

and 4 years later...

2007-03-18T12:11:00.001-07:00

Today, makes it 4 years I've lived in Denver. Back 4 years ago, my mom, Mike and I drove through the 2003 Blizzard. It was hell. I can't believe I moved during a blizzard, but we had to do it. The drive was much worse. I give my family props for helping me move out here. Makes a great story, to say the least.

The past 4 years in Denver have gone by quickly, I think. Initially this was going to just be a pit-stop on my so-called life journey, but it has grown to what I call home.

I've moved 4 times.

Had roommates. Lived alone. Had roommate again. Now live alone... but wanting roommate so I can live in house.

Made new friends, and lost friends. And made some new ones again.

Lost pounds, and gained pounds. And lost them again, and gained them again. Trying to lose them...

Laughed. Cried. Laughed again. Cried a lot. Basketcase. Laughed my ass off. Wet myself. Cried again because I wet myself. Laughed. Can't stop laughing...

Got new job, and lost job. Got a new job again. Liked job. Loathed job. First boss quit. New boss. New boss quit, thankfully. Applied for promotion, didn't get it. Let down. New boss. Loathed job. Liked job. Now getting a promotion. Unsure about job?

Flat tires. New clutch. Sold car bought my old Civic back from my mom. Now want a Prius.

Learned to snowboard. Hated it at first. Broke my ass and pride. Now I love to snowboard!

Had surgery on hip. Now fixed and all healed now but at a price.

Heart for poverty. Heart for Africa. Heart for God's creation. Advocate. Apathetic. Advocate, again.

Republican. Independent. Democrat. Green party? Hmm, probably just an Independent.

Conservative. Radical. Liberal. Radically changed. Right-wing. Left-wing. Moderate. Living radically for Jesus.

Carnivore. Beef sabbatical. Ate meat again. Now vegetarian.

Pride. Shame. Pride again. Grace. Forgiveness. Forgiven.

Loved. Rejected. Loved again.

Lived simply. Consumer. Minimalist. Consumer again. Trying to be minimalist.

Calloused. Heartbroken. Nun internship. Then heartbroken, again. Dated. Noncommittal. Dated, again. Nun internship, again. Quit nun internship. FSO. But still looking at nunship application again.

Life's been good. Life's a bitch. Life is good, again.

Learned who I am. Forgot who I am. Wished I didn't know me. Learning to know myself, again.

Loved God. Loved people. Loved myself. Hated God. Hated people. Hated myself. Now trying to love all three... daily struggle.

Know God loves me. Believe God loves me. Allow God to love me. Again. daily struggle to know, believe, and allow Him to love me.

We'll see what God has in-store for me the next 4 years. It may or may not all be in Denver? Perhaps I'll go to Africa? Or get married? Or move to another city? Or move back to Norman? [don't count on that one fam.]

Overall, I'm hoping that I'll 'enjoy' what life and God throw at me. Being content.

Single. No mortgage. No kids.

2007-02-20T13:03:00.001-07:00

So, over the weekend I decided to do my bloody taxes.

I'm single, no mortgage, and no kids, which = no deductibles.

There's injustice being single.

I mean, I'm getting screwed and not getting screwed.

Needless to say, I'm hoping to either get married, have kids or buy a house within the next year, so I won't get screwed? Wait a minute?

Anyway, the most probable one is buying a house sometime soon (gulp!). Lots of responsibility.... oh and I could get a dog! YES!

celebrating 29 consecutive years of dodging cupid's arrows

2007-02-14T09:09:00.001-07:00

no flowers.

no chocolate.

no balloons.

no diamonds.

no puppies.

no sexy lingerie.

no secret lovers.

no valentines, once again.

2007 Valentine's Day makes it 29 consecutive years of no valentines.

I know many of you are baffled by this, but somehow growing up I managed to end 'relationships' prior to this lovely day or I was doing a nun internship like now.

Oh, but I do remember giving valentines to boys in my class who I had a crush on. I think I did something cheesy / subtle like when I signed my name instead of dotting my 'i' with a dot I used a heart. Man, very subtle for a 5th grader. Or, I gave him the more romantic valentine's card.

But you know back then I was a little more risky.

For instance, if I liked a certain boy I would first make friends with him; then, I would sit by him at lunch, laugh at all his jokes in class, probably stare at him during class, let him win races even though I was faster, play tether ball at recess, etc. I would even write him notes and ask him if he 'would go with me'. Not sure where we would go, but that's what we all called it.

I can learn a lot from my 10 year old self. Perhaps I seemed desperate back then, but at least I was taking a risk and I feel like I had more boys liking me than they do now. Well, granted things aren't as complicated as they are now. I mean, back when I was a kid I wasn't thinking marriage or anything committal like that. It was simple -- you liked him so, therefore, you would ask him to go with you. So simple.

Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day!

nice lady to POS

2006-12-10T09:43:00.001-07:00

last week right before this interview for a human interest story for work, a teenage girl asked to borrow a cell phone. i let her use mine. to keep this story short i'll cut to the chase. it turns out she was kidnapped and taken to an apt a couple doors down from where we were doing our interview. i helped her call 911. later after the police came i filled out a police report. i had to tell them everything she told me.

although it was quite sad for her, for some reason now i keep thinking about how this whole thing was so timely and why i got involved. i was the one who arranged the interview, picked 4:30 instead of 4:15 pm. in fact, i know if we were any earlier or later we would've missed her. another thought i have is my choice to engage with this girl. i knew when she asked to use a cell phone that something was very wrong. i also knew when i later asked her if we needed to call the police that i was going to get more involved here. i even asked her if the men hurt her-- they did.

i don't consider myself a good samaritan by doing what i did because i'm sure most of you out there given the same situation would've done what i did. you would've helped her. right before she got in the police car i told her she was brave and that she was going to be okay. she referred to me as the 'nice lady'.

right after leaving the interview and dealing with the police and the kidnapped girl, i stopped by wal-mart on my way to another work related thing.

i typically never shop at wal-mart, but I went for a work related reason and i had to buy something. while looking for something and simultaneously hyper-ventilating, a woman called me a "piece of sh*t." gee, thanks.... merry christmas to you, too! a loathe wal-mart!

so, in less than an hour i go from 'nice lady' to 'piece of sh*t'!

'It'

2006-11-27T21:58:00.001-07:00

It.

What is 'it'?

'It' could mean so many things...

For instance, with OJ Simpson 'it' meant murder. "He did it!" I mean, "What if I did it?"

Then I keep thinking about that one Seinfeld episode where Elaine says, after her date, "He took it out." In that case 'it' means... um, well... male genitalia. There. I said it.

Of course, in high school / college 'it' meant sex, apparently, at least I think it did...

My favorite form of the word -- in 4th grade, this super smart kid (actually went to Harvard), Chung Lee, would inevitably say 'it' after our entire class said, "shhhhhh!" Ya know, now that I think about it, Chung was pretty funny. Shhhhh... 'it'. Very funny. I'm going to try that at my next work meeting or something.

Well, that's it.

10 things you never knew about me...

2006-10-29T20:43:00.001-07:00

On this blog I tell many silly stories from my past, e.g. my sister black mailing me, running away with my hobo stick, the glove man, etc. I also share what's going on in my life from the wacky things like my deodorant quandary or my nun internship to the more serious like my recent health woes. Needless to say, I have many more stories to share and divulge to my faithful readers; moreover, there is so much that I haven't shared. So, with that said, here's 10 things you never knew about me... keep in mind I know some of you already know about some of this stuff.

10 things you never knew about me...

My only 'hollywood crush' was Fred Savage from The Wonder Years. I wrote him a letter when I was in 5th grade, and so did my best friend Emily Yeh. He wrote back some canned photo & signature. [In fact, that picture to the right is the exact one 'he' sent me!]
I always wanted to play the drums, but my mom wouldn't let me and I played the piano for two years until I broke my arm in 6th grade.
My favorite animal is the African Elephant - sad they have been killed for their ivory tusks. Sick, greedy bastards!
I've never smoked weed nor have I bonged a beer. HOWEVER, I've watched and babysat my friends who did. Sober can be funny!
I have a knickknack phobia. It started in college my first semester in the dorms my roommate had like over 100 little dalmatian knicknacks all on her side of the room. Apparently, if you own a dalmatian you're supposed to collect knicknacks. She even had her senior pics taken with her dog. Creepy.
I was a Safety Patrol Captain in 5th grade; yes the dorky orange belts and helping kids cross the street. I carried a whistle and bossed my classmates around. I thought I was da shiznat!
I can't sleep if my bedroom door is open and I must have white noise!
I am a registered Independent - in high school I claimed to be a Democrat, then I became a Christian in college, in the bible belt, and thought that I had to be Republican if I was a Christian. Boy, I didn't know anything then.
Every year growing up at my church, First Presbyterian Church in Norman, OK, had a Christmas Pageant, and I was always an angel up in the balcony, and I sang in my church choir -- I actually liked it. We also did numerous musicals.
I only write in print; in fact, I can't write in cursive anymore -- too sloppy. But I do have a cool signature, I've been told. That was perfected over the years... ya know just in case I got famous!

A Quick Health Update!

2006-10-24T16:34:00.001-06:00

Just letting you all know that I went to my doc today, and GOOD NEWS... the mass they removed is not a tumor, nor cancer, etc. They aren't exactly sure if it was a hemorrhage in the bone or some injury from when I was a kid or whatever. Regardless, this is good news! I hope to be on the slopes very soon! Like before Christmas! YAY!!!! And, obviously taking care of this before the bone got weaker has been a blessing. And, I'll have less pain in my hip bone.

Thanks for your prayers, thoughts, bringing me food, giving me rides, emailing me, texting me, calling me, etc. etc. I REALLY REALLY appreciate your help and for caring. Needless to say, I'm beyond relieved, that's for sure. HOWEVER, this whole thing has been a VERY humbling experience, and has shown me how loving my family and community are. Thanks, again!

Love, steph

There goes my bikini modeling career...

2006-10-19T10:11:00.001-06:00

Last week, I had my surgery to remove a mass on my right femur / hip. The whole thing is pretty surreal. One second you're talking to a nurse about your silly looking hats and the next moment you wake up in pain, freezing and thirsty. I remember some things like my old roommate Erin came in the recovery room to visit me. She could b/c she's a nurse at P/SL. I remember being talkative with my nurse Peggy, and I was waiting for my room to open up.

Here are a few shots of me...

That's me in pre-op, right before my surgery. Nurse putting on the silly looking hat.

That's me after my surgery in my hospital room texting my friends who later came by to visit me. [THANKS! Sorry, I could hardly stay awake.] BTW, those are my new specs.

I enjoyed my visitors coming to check on me, I think there were 8 total, including my folks. The only Friday the 13th thing was my nurse kept spilling drinks on my bed; then, the gal who brought my food to me almost dropped it as she was coming in. Then, while my mom was moving my bed tray over all of my left over food, drinks, etc. fell on my bed! It was funny!

Yesterday, I removed my dressing from my surgery. For 5 days post-op I had this puffy bandage on my hip. I couldn't get it wet, so no showers. Don't worry I washed my hair a few times and took a sponge bath. Anyway back to the unveiling, removed it and saw where my new scar was going go be. Right on my hip. Yeah, no more bikini modeling. Plus, I'm still bruised like banana and pretty sore, but all and all I'm feeling pretty good. Hardly using my crutches these days, and my gangsta limp is now becoming less noticeable.

Back to work next week. Also, I go back to the Doc next week, and hopefully I'll get some good news re: my real biopsy and my snowboard season.

My new specs, TIM, etc.

2006-10-12T10:06:00.001-06:00

My friend Alison and I scored some new specs last week...

TIM

This week while working out at 24Hour I was people watching in the mirrors, as I normally do, and saw this gal with a shirt that said 'TIM' on it. First thought, TIM? Who is TIM? Maybe he's her crush or something and she's doing advertisement to catch him. I thought, "That's a fabulous idea! I should totally make a shirt that has my crush's name on it! I'm running out of ideas here, and maybe that'll work?" Then after thinking that and designing my 'Crush Shirt' in my head, she turned around towards me and her shirt said 'MIT'. Right. MIT. NOT TIM. She went to some brainy school, which I obviously couldn't get into since I thought the shirt said 'TIM' on it. Stupid mirrors!

Tomorrow is my much anticipated surgery to remove the 'mass' on my right femur / hip bone. I'll be out for awhile, but I hope to update my blog during my recovery.

Peace.

Calling Ralph

2006-09-26T12:50:00.001-06:00

Barf.

Hurling.

Upchuck.

Vomit.

Blowing chunks.

Spew.

Tossing cookies.

Puke.

Throw up

Yes, folks this entry is indeed going to be about projectile vomit. Back in kindergarten I remember standing in line outside after recess. I remember this kid, I think my sister's age came up to me and said, "Jeff has a crush on you!" Jeff was his younger brother. Not only was that the first time ever for someone to tell me that someone had a crush on me, but at that very moment I also barfed in my mouth. Not because of the boy, just sick. I was a young, naive narcissus so I decided not to spit out the vomit, so I ended up swallowing it. I know what you're thinking, "Ew, Steph! That's disgusting!" Actually, I had no choice! I didn't want this kid to tell his brother Jeff that I tossed my cookies at recess. He had a crush on me and I didn't want to do anything to agitate his liking of me. So, it was a rather bold move to swallow my spew, I know.

Despite the rather bitter taste in my mouth I headed back to the old kindergarten classroom with the other kiddos. There I was sitting on a carpet square among a sea of kindergarteners and inflatable super letters (e.g Letter 'S' was Super Socks). All I remember was getting that feeling in my mouth. You know that feeling... that salty and queasy feeling, made my mouth salivate. The next thing I know there I am sitting on my carpet square just blowing chunks all over the place! Kids are screaming in disgust! Mrs. Liebert then immediately took me out of the classroom and into the hallway. Tears. Shame. And, I stood there mortified watching the other kids, who were sitting in a circle, part like the Red Sea around my lonely throw up puddle. It was sad and chaotic.

The nurse called my mom but she was not around, pre-cell phones. So my dad, my hero, came to pick me up. Went back to school the next day, post-upchuck incident, and all the other kids were afraid of me because I puked. They kept pointing and yelling, "Unclean! Unclean!" It only took a few days for them to forgive and forget and start playing with me again.

Deal Breakers

2006-09-24T13:01:00.001-06:00

Not long ago, my friend Brad was telling me about deal breakers. He and his friend wanted to create a game called Deal Breakers.

He was referring to dating relationships or pre-dating relationships where we either let those little things slide or we make that little annoying habit or idiosyncrasy a deal breaker and put the kibosh on the relationship. I think Seinfeld had a lot of deal breakers on their show.

Examples of Deal Breakers:

You live downtown. He doesn't know (or want to learn) how to parallel park. [True, I ended a 'relationship' because he couldn't parallel park.]
He never tips, or only gives a 5% tip.
She has an annoying laugh.
He has a small toy poodle that he pets all of the time, takes the little dog everywhere, etc.
Her apartment smells like a cross between glue and vomit.
He wears tapered jeans.
She doesn't shave her pits.
He never has toilet paper in his apartment.
She constantly gossips about people you know about.
He only eats fast food and refuses to learn how to cook for himself.
He or she has facial hair.
She has a blog.

What are your deal breakers?

entropy.

2006-09-21T10:40:00.001-06:00

It's been awhile since I've written on my blog. Mostly because my mind has been in 10,000 places. But with that said, I'm reminded about entropy. I'm not into science at all, but I like the idea of entropy which describes probably everything that is going on in my life.

What is entropy?

Well, essentially the idea of entropy is disorder in a system. And, this has to deal with thermodynamic laws, but for us normal people out there I'm going to simplify this for us.
We are constantly maintaining these systems, e.g. mowing lawns, cleaning, showering, etc. For instance, if I neglect doing my dishes or picking-up my crap that I've left all over my apartment then what would happen? Unfortunately things don't magically return to their proper spot (strangely growing up my stuff always got to the right spot - thanks to my A.R. mom); instead, my apartment would look like a cross between a junkyard or 50-yearold bachelor's pad. So, I'm constantly maintaining my apartment -- dishes, sweeping, laundry, straightening up, dusting, wiping counters, etc.

From the basic maintenance of an 650 sqft apartment to laws of thermodynamics, I feel like this 'notion' of entropy stems from the 'fall' and because of that we, too, experience entropy. For me, physically, I'm going through some health problems the past few weeks. The kidney stones (Urethra Franklin and Stone Phillips) are still in my kidneys and I should have them 'blasted out' in the next few weeks. AND, the radiologist not only found my stones but he/she also found some kind 'abnormality' on my right femur (femoral neck) - could be a cyst or some other kind of 'deformity'. Although, I would love to say that I'm fine, I'm not freaked out at all. But to be honest as my body experiences this 'entropy' I'm a bit uneasy about it. I tend to think of worst case scenario - which is every scary thing you can think of -- losing a limb. Then I'm like oh, it's probably nothing... but what if? So you see I'm trying to have a good perspective, but this waiting is killin' me.

I need patience. I need peace. I need healing. I need to surrender and allow God to walk with me through this odd time. I'm sure trusting God is huge part of it. I've even given myself pat answers, but to be honest I don't want to hear them. So, I told myself to shut-up the other day...

I should hear back from my orthopedic surgeon sometime this coming Monday or Tuesday. He has to review my MRI.

Though I'd love to continue to process this on my blog - but my main purpose in writing this is a request for prayer. I believe in prayer, and if you are the praying type I ask for your coveted prayers.

An announcement: I'm having 'twins'!!!

2006-09-06T13:41:00.001-06:00

Well, several of you out there already know about this, but during my birthday dinner last night my doctor called me to tell me that I'm having TWINS!!!

Needless to say, I'm beyond surprised by this, for several reasons...

Yup, I will be giving 'birth' to two kidney stones in the ensuing weeks. Although I'd love to be excited about this, I'm just having a hard time, but I guess it beats having a tumor or something.

Oh, btw, the stones' names are going to be Urethra Franklin and Stone Phillips!

Their debut is forthcoming... I'll keep you all posted! There might be 'stone' shower next week, too.

Gee, 29 isn't so exciting as my body continues to fall apart as I continue age. Totally bites.

WHOA NELLY, I'M 29!!!

2006-09-05T23:59:00.001-06:00

Hard to believe, folks, but I just turned 29 today. Very creepy.

Here are a few birthday highlights...

Today was the most gorgeous day outside! Perfect weather!
I took the day off from work!
I rode my bike to REI. While reading my book outside the REI Starbucks, a pigeon made some noise then I looked up and saw grunty poo coming down towards me. With my cat-like reflexes I was able to dodge the droppings. Whew!
Apparently Victoria Secret remembered my birthday better than most people; they sent me a little $10 gift card. That'll help me put a down payment on a G-string I've had my eye on.
Had dinner with some fun friends at Mercury Cafe. Tasty. Although, the tea that tasted like an ashtray wasn't a hit for some reason, but the rest of the food was good. Thank you guys for coming! Loved the cards and gifts--even though I said NO gifts! :) Muchas gracias!
I told a story of the time I puked in kindergarten; Alison couldn't stop laughing, which made me laugh super hard! Not sure if it was funny, but I enjoy laughing hard while trying to tell a vomit story.
My fam hooked me up: Dad = cha ching, Mom = car insurance for the next 6 mo, sister = fun earrings. Thanks you guys! Wish you could've joined us for dinner.
Plethora of voicemail messages, phone calls and emails from friends and family wishing me a happy birthday, thank you!
Lastly, my doc called me during dinner, and told me that I'm having 'twins'! (More on that later.)

A couple of goals for my 29th year:

To not get married by age 30.
Laugh more.
Take off more, actually use my vacation days.
Love God and people.
Rest.
Give.

PS - my friend Hunter wanted me to increase the font size. I hope this helps!

Did you say cuddle parties!?!

2006-08-31T22:33:00.001-06:00

Back sometime last year my old roommate, Erin, was telling me about cuddle parties. I was completely baffled by them, but yet curious. So, I googled cuddle parties, and here's what I found. Apparently, this isn't an adult version of Spin The Bottle or Seven Minutes In Heaven. In fact, Cuddle Parties have apparently been sweeping the nation! OK, so now that you're intrigued, please read more about this below, I basically grabbed all the info from the website.
Here's the skinny on cuddle parties...

"It is an event for adults to get together and explore affectionate touch and communication without it becoming sexualized. At these events, we create the safe space to talk about and explore what our needs are as adults when it comes to affection, intimacy and welcomed touch. In other words, CUDDLING!"
A structured, safe workshop on boundaries, communication, intimacy and affection. A drug and alcohol-free way to meet fascinating people in a relaxing environment. A laboratory where you can experiment with what makes you feel safe and feel good.
This playful, fun workshop has been a place for people to rediscover non-sexual touch and affection, a space to reframe assumptions about men and women, and a great networking event to meet new friends, roommates, business partners and significant others.
Can Cuddle Party restore your faith in humanity? It just might. But at the very least, you'll have a great time, and leave feeling relaxed and inspired.
There's even a Cuddle LIFEGUARD on duty!
These parties are hosted by people who invite people to get together to cuddle; some of these people coming together are perfect strangers.
Oh, and there are rules!

The RULES!!!! (yup, there are actual rules to this)

WHAT TO WEAR: Pajamas - nothing too risque. Think more comfy than sexy. (More drawstrings, less lace! No shorts.)

WHAT TO BRING: A pillow or stuffed animal if you like. Juice or sparkling cider is always welcome. Sorry, no liquor folks. Otherwise, just bring your smiling self.

STICK TO THE RULES:

Pajamas stay on the whole time.
You don't have to cuddle anyone at a Cuddle Party, ever.
You must ask permission and receive a verbal YES before you touch anyone. (Be as specific in your request as you can.)
If you're a yes, say YES. If you're a no, say NO.
If you're a maybe, say NO.
You are encouraged to change your mind anytime you want.
Respect your relationship agreements and communicate with your partner.
Get your Cuddle Lifeguard On Duty or Cuddle Caddy if you have a question or concern or need assistance with anything during the Cuddle Party.
Tears and laughter are both welcome.
Respect people's privacy when sharing about Cuddle Parties and do not gossip.
Arrive on time.
Be hygienically savvy.

Thoughts???
I know after reading some of this you guys are thinking what the butt!?! And you have lots of questions. There's an FAQ section that I suggest checking out for more information.

But, one thing that I keep thinking about is this need for intimacy. We crave or desire intimacy so much that we have people out there who create parties so that one can obtain such desired intimacy. Furthermore, I keep thinking about one of Mark Miller's old sermon's re: we were created to have a legitimate need for intimacy with Our Creator, but we, at times, seek intimacy through illegitimate ways. Perhaps cuddle parties are the epitome of this illegitimate need for intimacy?

I find this whole thing VERY intriguing. I mean, going to a party wearing my pajamas and laying around hugging random people??? That's just creepy, in some ways, and I would submit that I'm someone who's pretty affectionate and doesn't mind receiving hugs or giving hugs, but spooning with people I don't know or going to a social event so that I can spoon seems creepy. But is it? I don't know. I once heard that humans need at least 7 touches a day or something like that. And, certainly, this party would give you a full week's worth of touches. It's definitely something, um, different.

What are your thoughts about this?

Has anyone gone to a cuddle party?

Would anyone out there actually go to cuddle party?

Running away

2006-08-21T12:04:00.001-06:00

I can't recall how many times I thought about running away as a kid. The one time I can actually remembering running away I was either 5 or 6. I remember being really upset with my mom. Like crying then threatening I would run away; then I went into to my bedroom and packed my stuff. I actually got a stick and tied bandanna on it, I put a few things in it. Then I walked out the front door, of course sniffing and making a scene... my last words being "Bye. I'm NEVER coming back!" [Then I think I heard I Will Survive playing as background music.] The hobo like run away stick sat over my little shoulders as I turned around hoping my mom would come after me.

A few seconds later, my mom followed me trying to convince me to come back, of course I'm pretty sure she was trying not to laugh because I had the hobo stick on my shoulder. She said something about the 'Boogie Man' would be out there lurking around the corners, THAT was someone who definitely scared me a bit. But I remember that I was VERY determined to run away with my hobo stick. I'm not sure why I thought to make one of those hobo / run away stick-bandanna things, but I did. Perhaps I watched Tom and Jerry too much? Regardless, me and my hobo stick made it a couple houses up the street. I'm not sure if I knew where I was going to go, but I think as soon as my mom turned around and walked back inside the house after she unsuccessfully tried to convince me to come back, was surprisingly the exact moment that I decided to saunter back home. I had made a scene, a VERY dramatic one.

I think I still contemplate running away. Strange to think someone in her late 20s really has thought about just leaving and running away from it all. The thought has crossed my mind a few times especially when I drive east on I-70 to DIA (Denver Int'l Airport) I think about driving back home to Oklahoma instead of picking up my friend or catching my flight\; and, running away from responsibility here in Denver. Starting over. Hmm, more like returning back to my vomit, albeit.

I think we run away, perhaps not physically per se, but rather from things in life when it gets too hard. We close off from people; stop showing up to things like church or meetings, or perhaps even not returning phone calls or emails. Avoiding is a form of running. I know, I invented it. The times I've run or thought about running like being mad at my mom when I was kid, or work or life in Denver gets too rough and I just want to bail and go back home. Running. I"m really just running away from what's difficult and challenging.

You know those people who have that glamorous adventurous life (hopping from one country to the next or city to city stateside) perhaps they are really just running away? From what? Being an adult? Settling down? Fear of failure in life? Fear of being sucked into the 'American Dream' and sitting behind a desk all day long? However, I still admire them, and would love to join them, again.

Me and my hobo stick are far from running these days. I will face life's challenges. I think Visa once said something about going where life takes you or something along those lines.

I'm going, not running (away).

Two-faced kitten born, Hello Kitty fears competition

2006-07-13T15:34:00.002-06:00

Recently, a kitten was born in Oregon with two faces. Gemini, the two-faced kitty, has two mouths, two noses, two sets of eyes and two ears and two-quasi tongues.

"If she eats, nurses and what not then she'll be fine," says Patsy McGrew, a local vet. "But the fact of the matter is she doesn't know which mouth to nurse with and the whole quasi-two tongue thing... it's just very confusing for her."

After only hours being born, Gemini received several requests from over 30 agents before committing to one. "I'm thrilled to give lil' Gemini some direction. I hope she'll blossom into a real star, possibly her own line of cute little asian products," tells Mackie Goldwing, Gemini's agent.

Sources say Goldwing allured Gemini with catnip.

With all of the hype and media attention, Hello Kitty fears competition. In fact, today there was a poll taken and it reported that Gemini has more 'face value' than Hello Kitty.

Spokeswoman for Hello Kitty, Cathy Levine, adds, "Hello Kitty will continue to market her products to young girls across the world. We've been through this before with Garfield back in the mid-eighties, and Gemini will be just another cat fad, just like the rest."

"Psssshht, whateva. Ya know they [Hello Kitty Reps] are you scared of the competition. Perhaps this will mean 'Goodbye Kitty' for a certain someone," says Goldwing.

Hello Kitty wasn't able to comment due to the fact that she has no mouth, sadly; she just waved to her fans who were chewing her gum, which only lasts 2 seconds.

FOUND!

2006-07-01T14:15:00.001-06:00

Back in February I went to the Grizzly Rose for Beth's birthday party. Now Grizzly is a country bar with two-steppin' and rocky mountain oysters. We all had a ball! I'm not a fan of country anything... but nevertheless I enjoyed the night with friends.

As my friend, Carole, and I walked out the Grizzly I found this picture on the ground and kept it. I LOVE it!

the front...

the back...

the faded part reads: Ur lil sister Nancy A

Age-defying protein shake enhances young woman's leg pressing ability

2006-06-02T18:31:00.002-06:00

DENVER, Colo. (June 2, 2006) -- On June 1, 2006, at the 23 Hour Fitness, Stephanie, age 28, became the second human being on earth to leg press 2000 pounds! For the past 3 days she has been taking an 'age-defying protein shake' that is believed to have given her the power to lift so much weight.

"Whew! After drinking those age-defying protein shakes, I noticed that I was so much stronger," exclaimed Stephanie. "Ya know, I never thought I could lift as much as I did last night!"

Stephanie got the idea from Pat Robertson, who just announced last week that he had leg pressed 2000 pounds because of his age-defying protein shake. http://www.cbn.com/communitypublic/shake.asp

After downloading the recipe for age-defying protein shakes, Stephanie spent 3 days in a row ingesting the squalid protein shake.

"At first it made me gag, but eventually I was able to force it down. It's hard to drink something that tastes so similar to bung-hole," boasts Stephanie. "But, I got the courage from Pat.. if he can do it, then I certainly can!"

This is the first time in years that Stephanie has leg pressed; April 8, 1998, was the last reported leg press that Stephanie did prior to June 1, 2006. She told reporters and trainers that she is undeniably retiring from leg pressing just like break dancing; nevertheless, there is talk that she will write a book about her leg pressing experience (expected to hit the bookstores late July 2006).

"I feel like a super human or something now! Dreams do come true!"

###

I'm so over 'buzzness' words....

2006-05-31T21:56:00.003-06:00

for many you folks out there you work for small businesses, large corporations or nonprofits (like me). There's a culture in the work place where the words you say can make or break you. It seems after a conference, training or meeting people come away with, what I like to call, 'buzzness' words. Buzz words used to impress business-type folks.

Below are a few examples... mind you I work for a nonprofit so I know some words, but i'm sure many you out there know way more than I do. If you just pay attention in a meeting you'll hear your colleagues, especially those that like to hear themselves talk, share those lovely 'buzzness' words. Or, perhaps you can actually read work related emails for once and pick-up on that work lingo/jargon/buzz words! Better yet, just watch The Apprentice they are all about those words.

'Buzzness' words

1. synergy (or synergize) - so dumb! what does it really mean? "we need to create some synergy around this [whatever]... " so over that word!
2. seamless (e.g. "we want to make this a 'seamless' transition... ") what? are we a tailor or seamstress now? okay then, i'm going to knit this project, so no worries.
3. organic - maybe this is a Colorado thing?
4. expedite - yup, totally over it!
5. disseminate - so yeah, again, done with this one! e.g. we need to disseminate this information...
6. critical - really? how critical is it?
7. strategic - i'm sooo guilty of using this one!
8. leverage - again, guilty!
9. implement - oh geez, super guilty here!
10. integrated - well, crap! i LOVE that one, but i'll have to let this word go, just like the rest of them!

I could go on and on, but I won't; please feel free to list your 'buzzness' words on the comment section. It's okay to admit that you use these words, too. Like me, I know firsthand how using 'buzzness' words make you actually sound like you know what the heck you're talking about it. Seriously, I do.
I challenge you guys to go through a meeting, presentation, etc and not use a 'buzzness' word.

A tribute... to my mom

2006-05-13T13:46:00.004-06:00

Today is a day we celebrate our moms... most folks send a card, flowers, cookbook (I did that), phone call, perhaps even brunch... but if you're like me I'm too far from my mom on this very special day to give her a big hug and kiss from me. So I will settle for fond memories of her and why I love her so much...

that's a pic of my mom back in the 80's... she's wearing her robe and has big hair. I remember taking that picture of her in front of my dolls and Pac Man bulletin board. my mom is so nice to pose with my doll family. She even later took a picture of me and my Cabbage Patch Doll family...

the smell of Jergen's lotion, chapstick, and Dry Idea deodorant will ALWAYS remind me of my mom... I sometimes by those products just so I can "smell" my mom... my college roommate had the exact same lotion as my mom, and when Nicole would put it on I would say, "that smell is so familiar... it reminds me of my mom."

my favorite memory of my mom

would be the time while she was getting ready in her bathroom, I, of course, was in there watching her. I was 6 or 7, and she turned and looked me as she fixing her hair and said, "I love you so much. If someone ever tried to hurt you or kill you I would say, 'Take my place instead!'' And, I remember when my mom said that I knew she really loved me. In my opinion, the kind of love that's sacrificial is the most compelling...

I'll always remember...

the summer we played the card game speed out by the pool... we both were addicted to the game and trying to beat each other; I think she let me win more games than I should have. Hey mom, what about a rematch sometime?

I love the fact that my mom's favorite TV shows are cartoons... The Simpson's, King of the Hill, South Park... Yup, that's my mom!

I can always send her a joke, play a joke on her, say a sarcastic remark... and my mom will laugh and take credit for my sense humor; she says I have her sick sense humor. I hope I do. My mom is pretty funny!

My sister and I wanted a monkey when we were kids... my mom wouldn't let us. Very wise woman.

You are my sunshine...

My mom and I would sing You Are My Sunshine all of the time. In fact, she said I was her sunshine...

For the past 15 years of my life, I've been trying to avoid being like my mom. But the funny thing is I'm becoming more and more like her, and I'm okay with that... she's a great mom. And, if I'm ever a mom some day, I hope I can be just like her...

80 percent

She's convinced me that my perfectionism is not the end all be all; I've adopted her 80 percent motto/mantra. It's not 100%, but is pretty darn close; think of how much time and energy you now have. (I now have time to blog since I'm NOT being a full-time perfectionist!)

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THANK YOU...

I'm grateful for my mom. She has been my advocate since birth. She has fought for me when I unable; she cried with me when I was sad and felt rejected by kids from the neighborhood; she believed in me when no else would; she typed my papers for me when I was in middle and high school so could get an A... don't worry, I kind of wrote them; she was my soccer mom and took me to all of my practices and games; taught me never to quit; always supported me on any crazy adventure I go on.

The above picture is of me and my mom after my college graduation in May 2001. (I technically graduated in Dec 2000, but I didn't walk then.) I know for a fact if it wasn't for my mom I wouldn't have gone to college, graduated and be where I am today... Thank you for the sacrifices you've made, and happy Mother's Day! I love you, steph

cringing, ralphing and confessions of chunk

2006-05-01T22:50:00.002-06:00

remember the scene in goonies when chunk confesses everything he ever did? he basically spills his guts. most memorable is when he confessed that he made a fake ralphing noise then dropped fake puke over the balcony at the movie theatre... for some reason i think of that scene as i think of myself things i've said and the way i acted and responded to life, people, etc it makes me cringe. and at times i want to chuck all over the place. lovely thought, isn't it?

i cringe at the mere thought of not loving people the way i've been called to.... that's probably the reason why i cringe at so many things...

i cringe at the stupid things i've said on dates... or to guys i've crushed on... or the reasons why i stopped liking someone...

i cringe at the way i've treated my family over the past 25 years or so... they are the hardest for me to love...

i cringe when i think of how many times i pretend not to see the homeless guy on the corner holding a sign that reads: "Anything Helps! God Bless"

i cringe when i throw away tons of rotten food; i didn't eat all of it and it went sour. millions are dying of starvation in africa and here i am throwing away spoiled food... i suck!

i cringe when i remember someone from my childhood that i chose to ignore or make fun of... i had no idea how mean i was then... how we were then... how i can be... how we all can be. mean people suck!

i cringe when i think of how many hours i've wasted looking for things on craigslist... i'm always looking for something... car, housing, furniture, etc. will i ever be content with the things i already have?

i cringe... oh, how i cringe at so many things...

i know many of you are reading this and are thinking, steph, this is all forgiven, quit beating yourself up already! SHEESH!!! you're right... but i confess all of this because i know if i don't then it will continue to make me cringe and puke. maybe chunk's confessions were far from being contrite, he just didn't want his fingers to be blended to death or chopped off. i like my fingers and I don't want them blended either, but i must say it feels good get these off of my chest! i hope you all know i'm not beating myself up, i know my shortcomings and i believe in the power of redemption and healing. i really do!

please feel free to confess your cringes, if you will.

i'm off to sunny socal in a.m. for the week... we'll see if there's time to blog.

goodbye, my isosceles triangle mole formation

2006-04-28T12:41:00.003-06:00

I'm a molely person. Two weeks ago I had two questionable moles removed from my body, again. One of them was part of this formation on my left arm that I affectionately call my isosceles triangle mole formation. I discovered it in my 10th grade geometry class; we had been discussing isosceles triangles and what not in class. i remember looking at my arm while being bored to tears, and I was tickled to death to see the formation. I quickly grabbed a pen and connected the moles and sure enough two out of the three sides were equally congruent. The image above is not to scale, and does not give my moles justice. I'm disappointed that the top of the triangle is going to replaced with a heinous looking scar. right now it's just a healing wound with a hello kitty band aid covering it. I'm grateful to have my moles removed since my family has a history of melanoma and we have to be careful. I recommend that if you haven't had your moles checked recently to do it. My mom told me that her doc said referring to melanoma as "sneaky bastards!" My biopsy turned out to be fine, no bad news. It just takes one bad one out of the hundreds on my body to ruin it for the rest.

frenching, blackmailing and the summer I was actually nice to my sister

2006-04-27T22:41:00.003-06:00

So it was the summer that they called me Baby... wait, I'M quoting friggin' Dirty Dancing now? I hate that movie! I'm sick. Let me try this again... It was the summer before 6th grade, and things were looking pretty good for me. I made straight E's in 5th grade, started on my AAU basketball team, made a club soccer team, middle school was just around the corner, had my first boyfriend (josh, my major crush), and with that came my first kiss. Many of you are thinking, "Kiss? Like a real kiss? You mean you "frenched" someone in the 5th grade?!?!" YES, I did. I ran with the fast crowd then. Funny how we then referred to kiss kissing as "frenched." For instance, "yeah, on the back of the bus they frenched." Today, I can't imagine any of my friends telling me that they saw some people frenching or that they frenched someone on their date. We just say kiss or made out, and it is safe to assume that it's a french kinda kiss.

Anyway, so after my basketball game at this tournament in Ardmore, OK, my family with my friend Jenny and I go to a restaurant for dinner. Somehow that evening top secret information about me kissing Josh was leaked from the lips of Jenny to my sister, Michelle. I for some reason felt a great amount of shame, and didn't want my sister to know. Probably because I didn't want anyone to know about it, especially my family. I was 11, cut me some slack here. The next thing I know, my sister says to me, "I'm going to tell Mom!" I'm like, "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! DON'T! Please, please, please..." She realized at that very moment that her annoying little sister had in fact kissed a boy before she did, and that REALLY pissed her off! I mean, she's 2 years older than me, for crying out loud. And I'm sure her friends were kissing boys and she felt left out. Vindictively, my sister decides that her summer could be quite relaxing if she used this information against me.

As the summer began to unravel so did the torment of my sister. Mind you, I always had the upper hand growing up. I used to annoy the living daylights out of Michelle. If I got bored, I would go into her room and bug her until she either pinned me down and licked my face to death or yelled too much profanity at me that I couldn't take it. (Note: she also used to play that Dirty Dancing song that I HAAAATE with PASSION to get me out of her room.) I continue my normal pattern of behavior beginning of the summer, i.e. if you're bored go bug Michelle. But this time she, with the top secret info on me, says, "if you don't get out of my room I'm going to tell mom about..." Then proceeds to stick her tongue out like she's frenching the air. I'm like, "NO! Okay, I'll do whatever you want." She indeed then occupied the immediate power over me, and from that moment on I turn into THE nicest little sister EVER! I know hard to believe. For example, while playing in our pool I was so nice to Michelle and her friends while they were over swimming. I wouldn't harass them ilke I usually did. I would bring them beverages, hand them their towels, etc.

Oh, that summer I gave my sister full-time control over the TV remote. DO YOU REALIZE how horrible that is DURING the summer? I spent the ENTIRE summer watching lameo programming like Jem, soaps and shows that were on USA, which BTW is no longer in existence for the mere fact that their programming sucked! I wanted to watch CHIPs on TBS! I thought they were hot chasing speeding cars down the 405, is that wrong?

So yeah... I was blackmailed. I don't know if anyone out there has ever been blackmailed, but it sucks! I mean, you're controlled by someone who has something over you. Totally sucks! My summer and youth were robbed!

Eventually my observant mom starts wondering why her youngest daughter is all of a sudden being nice to her older sister. It was too odd for her, I suppose. Towards the end of the summer, my sister tries to blackmail me into something again, but this time my mom intervenes and says, "Okay, gigs up, Michelle. Stephanie, I know why you've been so nice to Michelle lately. She has been blackmailing you this whole time, and I know that you frenched Josh!" Of course, at that point I don't know if I was more mad that my mom knew, or that my wretched sister told my mom and was still blackmailing me! Regardless, I was mortified, completely and utterly mortified. To make matters worse, my mom asked me about the kiss. Eww!

Tony Campolo quote about Dobson

2006-04-26T14:10:00.003-06:00

What are your thoughts on this quote by Tony Campolo, an evangelical author and social commentator.

“You dare not go against Jim Dobson these days. This is the guru, the new pope. He is infallible. Anybody that contradicts him is obviously out of the will of God.”

I think there are some Christian folks out there who worship or "idolize" Doc Dob's every notion on Christian living, morality and/or political values; and if you're a Christian who disagrees with him, then maybe you need be fasting and praying... because you're not right with God. Maybe there are some other Christian peeps who feel the same way about Campolo, Donald Miller or John Eldrige?

Thoughts???

I often wonder what if Christians actually focused more on loving God, each other and ourselves rather than putting all of our energy in changing laws or people. Have you seen someone come to Christ via morality?

Tom's versus Dove - this is about the pits!

2006-04-25T00:37:00.001-06:00

In a lame attempt to start being a little more chunchy since I've been in Colorado for 3 years now, I decided a few weeks ago to buy Tom's of Maine deodorant from the Sunflower Market (health food store). I get the lavender scent because I love the smell and I thought it smelled better than the other scents. I came home after shopping and immediately put it on, ya know to try out my new product. It REALLY felt different than Dove. Like bad different. Like I don't like this kinda bad. Mind you, I have been a long-time, committed user of Dove. [I think Dove is the longest relationship I've EVER been in.] It smells great, goes on smooth, and I like it. BTW, at first it was hard to let go of Dove. I keep using Tom's, trying to give it the old college try, and it TOTALLY burns like hell. I don't like burning in my pits, okay. Sheesh! For a full week I use this Tom's and have pit-burn, it's like I'm torturing myself. So I finally tell someone about my burning sensation (never thought I'd say that) in my pits because at the time it was burning and that was all I could think about. She asked me if I shaved. And, I'm like yeah. She's all like that's probably why. So if you don't shave your pits you can use Tom's natural-organic deodorant without burning, apparently. My quandary: Do I shave my pits, use good ol' Tom's and have burning pits? Or, do I not shave use Tom's and have nonburning, hippy pits? Or, do I just go back to Dove and have normal smooth pits with no burning? Yeah... I'm wearin' Dove right now. If anyone can recommend a crunchy deodorant that won't burn my pits please let me know.

Thanks,
Armpit Management

welcome me to the world of bloggin'

2006-04-23T01:07:00.002-06:00

it's about 1 a.m. and why not start my new blog page? yeah so, tonight i was convinced by my friend, jason the vegetarian firefighter, to start a blog. he's doing one while he's in costa rica for a month. i'm not doing anything cool like him. so while trying to put away the butt-load of clothes that are stacked on my bed, i thought i could clear off my bed OR start a blog. obviously, i decided to blog. there you go... that's why i decided to do this. to avoid putting my clothes away... i'm lame.

oh, last night i saw rosie thomas at the hi-dive. great show minus the drunk lameos who decided to act like jerks at the end of it. regardless, rosie was amazing! it was cool to meet her and see her perform. i even saw an old college friend of mine, jeff shoop; he's on tour with rosie. anyway, check rosie out www.rosiethomas.com

aight, it's time for bed. really... it is.

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